Monday, January 9, 2023


October 28, 1999, I was in college and had a shocking epiphany that I couldn't think of a single poem that used the word discombobulated. It had such poetic possibility! This could not stand! I hastened to fix that problem, and the following story of an abduction by Vikings (and other randomness) unfolded. I set the poem to a techno tune. (Note: I am proud of my Scandinavian heritage. That said, I was going more for rhymes than historical accuracy. Also of note, the first four stanzas have nothing to do with the rest of the poem, except that they rhyme.)

Ein Wikingerüberfall (A Viking Raid)
Ferdinand Leeke, 1901


On the road I skated
And I rollerbladed
A racket I created!

To the mob I stated
My speech right now is slated

I stated and restated
Jack Sprat is underweighted
His wife is overweighted

The two were unrelated
Until the day they were mated
Her hair he daily braided
And they were both elated

Until the Vikings raided
Their house they had invaded
Their ego was deflated
And those men they hated

Their home was desecrated
Their glory, it soon faded
They became outdated

Their language he translated
The verbs he conjugated
To Norway they were crated
They were unsedated

To a land they were freighted
On a great ship, gold-plated
Their happiness negated
The Vikings they berated

Their birthday cards belated
Their arrival long-awaited
Their fury unabated
The Vikings soon were jaded

Against their will they aided
And, boy, had they debated
Bibliography annotated
To them clearly dictated

Their sla-ve-ry was fated
In the ground they spaded
While the Vikings recreated

They left so much unstated
The snow was underrated
And their teeth they grated
Their eyes were soon dilated

Escaped! They soon vacated
Their home was reinstated
Architecture they updated
Gothic they predated

This song is overrated
People interrelated
This song is terminated!

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