"I Was the Lion"

The Horse and His Boy is a fascinating book by CS Lewis. Released in 1954, it was the fifth book in The Chronicles of Narnia, but is third in chronological order. 

The novel tells the story of a boy named Shasta who was raised a slave in the southern kingdom (Tisrocdom?) of Calormen, but he does not feel he belongs, and his master has not treated him well. One day a Calormene official visits his master, and while the adults are in the house talking, Shasta gets to know the official's horse, who it turns out is a talking Horse from Narnia named Bree. Neither Shasta nor Bree is happy with their respective masters, and they escape together. Sometime later, they are driven by lions to join with a runaway high-born Calormene girl named Aravis, and Hwin, also a talking Horse from Narnia who has been exiled in Calormen. The four of them journey together to the capital city of Tashbaan, and on through the desert and into the kingdom of Archenland. In the process, they go through many complications and adventures, and Shasta learns a lot about himself and his heritage. In Tashbaan and as they journey north, they learn of a clandestine plot by Prince Rabadash of Calormen to lay siege to Anvard and Cair Paravel, the capitals of Archenland and Narnia respectively. In an effort to save lives and prevent a violent conquest, Shasta must get to Anvard in time to warn the Archenlanders.

Through it all, they are plagued (so they believe) by lions, a cat, jackals, and more. This painting is inspired by one of my favorite passages in all of literature, when Shasta has met King Lune of Archenland and has fallen behind their entourage. As he is wandering through the mountain pass on the border of Archenland and Narnia, he feels lonely and dejected, and only has an Archenlander horse he hardly knows for company in the thick fog...until he senses another presence and hears a voice. Shasta recounts his adventures to the new arrival and is shocked to learn...

"I Was the Lion"
Steven Sauke
Acrylic on canvas
2012

"I was the lion." And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. "I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so you could reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you."

...

He turned and saw, pacing beside him, taller than the horse, a Lion. The horse did not seem to be afraid of it or else could not see it. It was from the Lion that the light came. No one ever saw anything more terrible or beautiful.

Luckily Shasta had lived all his life too far south in Calormen to have heard the tales that were whispered in Tashbaan about a dreadful Narnian demon that appeared in the form of a lion. And of course he knew none of the true stories about Aslan, the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-over-the-sea, the King above all High Kings in Narnia. But after one glance at the Lion's face he slipped out of the saddle and fell at its feet. He couldn't say anything but then he didn't want to say anything, and he knew he needn't say anything.

The High King above all kings stooped toward him. Its mane, and some strange and solemn perfume that hung about the mane, was all around him. It touched his forehead with its tongue. He lifted his face and their eyes met. Then instantly the pale brightness of the mist and the fiery brightness of the Lion rolled themselves together into a swirling glory and gathered themselves up and disappeared. He was alone with a horse on a grassy hillside under a blue sky. And there were birds singing.

Throughout The Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan is a Christ-like figure, in many cases mirroring the actions of Christ in the Bible. This passage has been a comfort to me over the years. Whenever I am going through hard times, I need to be reminded that Jesus is right there, as Aslan was for Shasta and his companions. Even when all seemed hopeless, Christ was there. His faithfulness to me is astounding, and I don't deserve it, but looking back on my life, I can see so many times when things seemed hopeless, but God always provided, protected, and allowed me to grow through it.

Zaphenath-Paneah

Joseph is one of my heroes. His story in Genesis has always fascinated me. He went through so many difficult trials, but he held on to his faith, however distant God sometimes seemed to be. He was thrown in a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused and thrown into prison for years for a crime he didn't commit, and so much more. Through all of it, he clung to the hope that God would save him, and he was attentive when two servants of the Pharaoh, and later the Pharaoh himself, needed their dreams interpreted. He rose from prison to become Zaphenath-Paneah, Pharaoh's second in command, and he saved the nation of Egypt and his own family from a severe famine. He also forgave his brothers who turned his world upside-down.

Growing up in the Philippines has given me a perspective of living in a culture different from my parents'. Joseph was a third culture kid (TCK) like me, though our experience was obviously different. In some ways I can identify with the adjustments in being a part and product of the culture where I live and also that of where I'm from. Where even is "home"? One thing that gets me is a detail that I think is often overlooked... When Joseph was confronting his brothers as governor, he was speaking Egyptian, working through a translator. They had no idea he could understand them. He didn't speak to them in Hebrew until he revealed himself to them. The story evokes strong emotions for me, and I wasn't even there. I think one of the saddest parts of the story is that even though Joseph forgave his brothers, they never forgave themselves.

I wrote this poem October 10, 2010. In researching, I learned a few things:

• Zaphenath-Paneah is the anglicized spelling of the Hebrew approximation of his Egyptian name. Thus, scholars disagree on the exact meaning of his name. Here I used three possibilities from different scholars, in italics.
• It is likely that the -ath in his new name was the hieroglyph ankh (ቶ), the Egyptian concept of life, immortality and more. 
• I knew the meanings of some of the names, but I learned more when researching. In the poem, most of the italicized bits are the meanings of people's names. Joseph = "may he add"; Jacob = "he grasps the heel"; Potiphar = "one belonging to Ra"; Benjamin = "son of my right hand"; Moses = "drawn from the water"

I searched for more information on this painting,
but couldn't find any information on who painted it.
If anyone knows, I would love to credit the artist.

A dreamer of dreams

A boy with a promise of a bright future
Brothers bowing before him
Father and mother paying homage to their son

Joseph bar-Jacob.
May he add to the son of he who grasps the heel.

A young man hurled in a pit
Ripped from his parents
Sold and taken to a foreign land
A slave in the captain’s court.

Joseph, slave of Potiphar.
May he add to the one belonging to Ra.

Framed for a horrible crime
Thrown, innocent, into prison
Interpreting dreams for his fellows
Forgotten by the one released.

So much promise, dreaming, love
Such pain, betrayal, anguish
Forgotten for years
Wallowing in prison

Ankh slowed to a boring and endless crawl
God seemed silent and distant
Where was the hope of release?
Why such betrayal and slander?

Brought before the Pharaoh himself
New dreams to interpret
Seven years of plenty
And seven years of famine

And so Joseph, son of Jacob
Slave of Potiphar
Prisoner of Egypt
Received a new name.

Zaphenath-Paneah.

“The god sees, and he lives.”
Through all of it, God watched
God trained His child through love,
Through pain, through trials.
God saw Joseph, and Joseph lived.

“A revealer of hidden things and an opener of things to come.”
A man who, with the help of God, could reveal the meanings of dreams
Who foresaw his ascent, an execution, a restoration to service,
Seven years of plenty and seven years of famine.

“One who furnishes the nourishment of life.”
Suddenly pardoned and made governor
Stored wheat to preserve Egypt through the famine
Nourished and saved millions of lives.
One who so recently yearned for greater ankh
Suddenly named as one who provided ankh

****

Brothers who lived with the guilt of selling their brother
For all they knew, he could be dead
But just to be sure, they had killed a goat
And smeared the blood on their brother’s coat
Bringing a fictional tale of woe to their heartbroken father

Famine in Canaan
Few crops and dwindling herds
News of a surplus of grain saved up in Egypt
And so ten brothers left their father’s house
Leaving the youngest behind
And traveled to buy grain
From the exalted Governor of Egypt:
Zaphenath-Paneah.

Framed for spying on Egypt
Cringing in fear before the wrathful governor
Thinking the Egyptian governor could not understand,
They cried out in Hebrew
Regretting their treatment of their brother and father
And they wondered why the exalted Egyptian Zaphenath-Paneah ran out of the room in tears.

One thrown in prison while the rest were sent home
To bring their youngest brother
And prove their honesty

And so came Benjamin to Egypt
The imprisoned brother freed
And the son of Jacob’s right hand framed
For stealing a priceless golden cup.

Terrified brothers fell at the feet of Zaphenath-Paneah
In fulfillment of a dream, bowing at his feet
Begging to spare the life of their brother
And keep their father from dying of grief

And so the great Zaphenath-Paneah told all his servants to leave
The brothers wondered what was about to happen
When the interpreter, their only means of communication,
Walked out of the room.

And so for the first time, the great Zaphenath-Paneah spoke to them in Hebrew
And gave them news that filled them with wonder and fear
God heard, and Joseph was still alive.
God sent His child to reveal what was to come,
To preserve the lives of Egypt
And of his own family.

And so the children of Israel flourished and became a great nation
They lived in Egypt for 400 years
God saw them, and they lived
And God sent a new child, drawn from the water
To bring His children back to Canaan
And with them came the sarcophagus
Of Zaphenath-Paneah.

Photo taken at the
African Burial Ground National Monument,
New York, by Sean Ghazala
Public Domain

2023 - Beginnings: Fountains and Sunrises

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
The wild animals honor me,
    the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
    the people I formed for myself
    that they may proclaim my praise.

Isaiah 43:18-21

The lookout from the Wild Horse Monument,
overlooking the Columbia River and Vantage, WA

I was originally planning on going with a sunrise theme here, but the above verse has been on my mind, and it uses a different metaphor. Both work. Tomorrow will be one month since we got the life-changing news that Wireless Advocates is no more. I wrote about it at that time here. Next week will be 5 years since I was hired permanent. Our colleagues around the country suddenly lost their jobs, and those of us at the national headquarters continue to work on wrapping things up with the business before our jobs end next month.

This has been an interesting month. Between tasks related to closing the business, we have been working on job search, updating our resumes, updating LinkedIn, and more. I have been deeply impressed how some of the most helpful people on our team have been managers around the country who lost their job last month, but are rallying around the 1800+ employees who have lost, or will soon lose, their jobs, keeping us encouraged, motivated, positive, and even excited about new possibilities. As difficult as this period of loss has been, it has been a beautiful thing to watch. Our team at national headquarters is closer than ever, as we are all in the same boat.

Skykomish River
near Gold Bar, WA

I have mentioned my awesome friends Kim and Jason Kotecki in previous blogs. One thing they have encouraged in their motivational movement Escape Adulthood is a change from the traditional idea of New Years Resolutions. People often resolve to lose weight, get organized, any number of things. They might buy a gym membership, go once or twice, and give up. I actually cancelled my gym membership last month because I almost never went, and it ended up being a monthly bill I got nothing for. That is not to say I'm not working on losing weight; I have been working on it since 2020, and have lost just over 100 pounds since then. I still have a ways to go, but I'm more than halfway there! (I recommend Noom if that's an issue for you. You can tell them I sent you.)

Instead of resolutions we may or may not keep, Kim and Jason recommend coming up with a word for the year. The first year I did it, my word was Ooze. First of all, I love that word. It's fun to say. People generally think of oozing goo, but you can also ooze joy, ooze love, ooze any number of things. It doesn't have to be gooey or mushy. In 2020, my word was Vision. (Get it? 2020 Vision?) I don't do a word every year (I didn't have one last year), but in light of recent events, I have decided to go with "Beginnings" or "Sunrise" for this year. In the above verses, I normally only hear verse 19 (the part about doing a new thing). But just now looking at the passage, the verses around it are also important. Though we should learn from the past, it is in the past and there's nothing we can do about it...so it isn't a good idea to dwell on it. Jackals and owls are generally nocturnal, and jackals in particular are known for scavenging. Anubis, an ancient Egyptian god of the dead, was represented as a jackal. In CS Lewis' The Horse and His Boy, the graveyard outside Tashbaan has jackals prowling nearby. At one point Aslan protects Shasta from them (though at the time Shasta doesn't know the identity of the cat protecting him). In the sequel The Silver Chair (which has a fleeting reference to The Horse and His Boy), Jill and Eustace are helped by owls, but they are most helpful at night. In the Harry Potter books, owls deliver mail. I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with that, but those are my thoughts on jackals and owls.

In any case, even in the most desolate of deserts and circumstances, God provides water and other things needed, both to humans and to wild animals. Just as a spring of water bubbles and froths excitedly, we can look to the future with joy and eager anticipation, even if everything around us looks grim and hopeless. Sometimes it seems counterintuitive, but an optimistic outlook can work wonders.

Clark Fork River
near Superior, MT

With my goal of Beginnings this year, I am looking forward to seeing what wondrous thing God has for me. I started this blog in 2010, but have been fairly irregular in posting. The past couple weeks, starting with my reblogs of my All Things Broadway posts, I have been working on posting daily. I am hoping to keep that up and develop this into a more regular blog. I don't know exactly what direction that will take, but we will see. I am also exploring my options on the employment front. I'm excited to see what amazing new possibilities are bubbling "just around the riverbend," to quote Pocahontas. 

As my friends Kim and Jason like to say, "Now that this has happened, what does it make possible?" At the risk of mixing metaphors, what joyful spring of water will be bubbling and frothing as the sun rises on my next chapter? Is there an awesome proverbial geyser in my future? I can't wait to find out!

Here's to new beginnings joyfully springing up as a beautiful sunrise dawns over the horizon!

Sunrise over Lake Michigan
Sheboygan, WI

Sunrise over Lake Michigan
(and a raccoon if you look closely)
Sheboygan, WI

Unending Oil and Shunammite Resurrection

Elisha’s world had turned upside-down. He was working in the field one day when some guy named Elijah came along and told him to come be a prophet. After a few years of training, Elisha watched his teacher taken from him in one of the most dramatic ways imaginable. The fiery horses and chariot disappeared into the sky, the waters of the Jordan River parted, and Elisha started a new life as a prophet. As he had requested, God granted him a lot of prophetic power, and with God’s help, he did some amazing things.

One day, another prophet’s time came to go. We don’t know this prophet’s name, but he had a wife and two sons, and they were left very poor when he died. The woman had bills to pay, and no way to pay them! At that time, that only left one option. The people she owed the bills to would be coming any day to take her sons away to be slaves! She loved her sons, and she didn’t want to lose them! So she found Elisha and told him about their problem.

“What do you have in your house?” Elisha said.

“We hardly have anything!” she replied. “Just a small jar of olive oil!”

So Elisha told her what she needed to do. It sounded really weird, but she knew Elisha knew what he was talking about. Following his advice, she went around to all her neighbors and asked for as many empty jars as they could spare. Pretty soon, there were lots and lots of empty jars in their house. Then the woman and her sons shut their door and went to work. They took their tiny jar of oil and started pouring it into an empty jar. When that was full, they started filling another one. That filled up, and they poured oil into a third jar! It just kept coming and coming out of the tiny jar until all the jars in the house were full!

“Bring me another jar!” she said to one of her sons.

“That’s it!” he replied. “They’re all full!” Then the oil stopped flowing.

So she went to Elisha and reported the amazing news. “Great!” he said. “Now go sell the oil. You’ll earn enough from that to pay your debts and to support your family!”

Not all the people Elisha helped were poor. He often visited a rich couple in the town of Shunem. In fact, he came so often that they decided to build a guest room on their roof so that he would have a place to stay when he visited. Elisha and his servant Gehazi really appreciated their hospitality, and Elisha wondered what they could do to help this Shunammite woman and her husband. They even offered to speak to the King on her behalf, but she didn’t think that was necessary. Elisha and Gehazi were brainstorming what they could do to help them when Gehazi pointed out that the woman didn’t have any children, and her husband was old. So Elisha told the woman, “This time next year, you’ll be holding a son.”

“No, don’t get my hopes up!” the woman said. But just as promised, she got pregnant and had a son.

A few years passed. The boy grew, and his parents loved him. One day, he found his dad working in the fields and complained, “My head hurts!” His dad asked a servant to carry the boy home, and the boy’s mom held him. He was very sick, and pretty soon he died. The woman couldn’t believe it. God had done a miracle by giving her this child, and now the boy was dead! She carried his body up to Elisha’s room and hurried to find Elisha. She found him at Mount Carmel, and he saw her and recognized her from a distance. He sent Gehazi ahead to find out what was the matter, and she said, “Everything’s fine.” But as she got closer, he told Gehazi, “She’s very sad, but God hasn’t told me why.”

So the woman said, “Did I ask you for a son? Didn’t I tell you not to get my hopes up?” When he found out the boy was dead, Elisha was alarmed. He told Gehazi, “Take my staff and run. Don’t stop for anything or anyone, and when you get to their home, lay my staff on the boy’s body.” The woman refused to go with Gehazi, though, unless Elisha went with her. So while Gehazi ran on ahead, Elisha and the Shunammite woman hurried back to the house. Before they got there, Gehazi came running back from the house and said, “I did what you said, but the boy is still dead!”

The first thing Elisha tried hadn’t worked. So when he got to the house, he went upstairs and found the boy laying on the bed. Elisha knelt down and prayed. Then he did something really strange. He laid facedown on top of the boy, eyes to eyes, mouth to mouth, hands to hands. Maybe it was something like CPR? The boy’s skin was cold, as it usually is for dead people, but pretty soon, it got warm. Elisha stood up and walked back and forth, then tried again. The boy sneezed and opened his eyes!

So Elisha had Gehazi get the Shunammite woman, and when she came in the room, she was overjoyed to find her son alive! God had just brought a boy back from the dead!