Light in the Darkness

It was just after midnight when my brother got the call from the hospital. My mom came in the room, and when she saw him on the phone at that hour of the night, she knew it couldn't be a good sign. A few minutes later, he turned the phone over to her and came and got me. My worst fears were confirmed when we got into the kitchen and he said, "Dad just died."

The hospital wondered if we would like to come see him before they moved him to the morgue. I knew I needed to go. Once my mom was done talking to them, we gathered in a hug, the three of us huddled together in grief. We got dressed and went to the hospital. One of the nurses met us at the door and escorted us up, as it was after visiting hours. He looked much more peaceful than he had a few hours previous when I had talked to him and said my good byes (but in the hopes I would be able to come back the following day to talk more, and hoping and praying he would recover against all odds). A charity had donated quilts to the hospital for patients on comfort care, which the family got to keep. We gathered around his bed. It was an important part in saying good bye, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon! He went so quickly. We took his belongings and the quilt home. The quilt is now on our couch. We would get to see him once more, a few days later at the funeral home.

The jar
(My painting Le mont Rainier is in the background.
As it was December, we had our nativity scenes up.)

As friends and family heard the news, people started sending flowers. I got a big bouquet from my team at work. It meant a lot. But the most meaningful gift for me came from my friends Kim and Jason Kotecki. I have mentioned them on my blog in the past. Jason is a masterful artist who has done many amazing paintings. One of his recent paintings is called Hope in the Darkness. It has a mason jar on the grass with fireflies inside and flying upward out of the jar. There are trees at night in the background. It is dark, but the light from the fireflies indicate hope, bright lights flying through the air and providing their own light where there isn't much. (My blanket has that painting on it as well.)

Hope in the Darkness
Jason Kotecki, 2020
Used with permission

I picked up the box from them at our door and wondered if I had ordered something from them and had forgotten about it. It was heavier than I expected. When I opened the box, I found a mason jar with rocks in it. I was confused at first, but after a bit of examination realized what it was. It had semitransparent blue river rocks with fairy lights wrapped around the rocks inside the jar. It also has an on/off switch and a battery compartment. It harkens back to his painting.

The flowers we received were very meaningful, but that jar lamp meant more to me than I can express. I use it all the time before going to bed. In a way, it's almost like my dad is there with me, shining a light into the room. I miss him.

But their kindness didn't stop there. Kim and Jason's oldest daughter Lucy makes amazing winter hats. I ordered some at an excellent price, and she outdid herself. Jason's dad Walt (a cancer survivor and an amazing person) offered to talk by phone and be a comfort. All of that meant the world to me.

Kim recently lost her dad. I pray for their family's comfort and encourage anyone who feels so inclined to join me. I'm so thankful she got to spend time in the hospital with her dad before the end. We've had so much grief and loss in the past few years. COVID, international conflicts, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, shootings, cancer, and so much more. We all need comfort and love. The world needs more families like the Koteckis, who make an effort to reach out and offer a prayer, a hug, an ear to listen, creativity, immense talent, and so much more. Kim likes to talk about chosen family, who are not related by blood, but are as good as family. They are part of my chosen family.

There is always hope in the darkness. Even in the darkest night, there are always glimmers of light and hope if we know where to look. The Koteckis remind me to be the light for someone who needs it.

Thoughtfulness and Artistry

Imagine if you will, a youth group room. One of the youth leaders asks a teenager, "What's up?"

Without missing a beat, the teen responds, "The ceiling!"

People who know me well may assume I was the teen in question. They would be wrong. I was present, however. With a beaming smile, I gave my good friend Mio a high five and said, "I knew you were awesome!' I was another of the youth leaders, and I like to think I trained him well. (I can't say that for sure, however. It may have been a "Great minds think alike" moment.)

Mio

Steven Sauke, 2016

Adobe Illustrator

Back up a bit. In 2014 my grandpa visited Activate, our church's youth group, who also welcomed youth from other churches. He spoke of memories of going forward at a summer camp when he was 10. After his talk, we took a group picture, and our very talented main youth leader did something I never saw anyone else do over the course of my life. She managed to talk my dignified grandpa into making a goofy face in the middle of a crowd of teenagers for a picture.

As a pastor for many years before retiring, my grandpa had a heart for reaching youth. He loved and prayed for them. That evening endeared a 98-year-old man to a group of teens. They were present at what I believe was the last time he spoke before a group. He would write a letter to each of them a few months later.

As the weeks went on, Activate met weekly, and as a new leader, I got to know them. One evening a student by the name of Emilio, or Mio for short, came up to me and offered to draw a portrait of my grandpa. Mio usually carried a sketchbook, and also sometimes drew amazing artwork on the whiteboard, which never ceased to blow me away. I like to think of myself as an artist, but my drawing ability is nowhere near as good as his. He has an incredible talent. Anyway, a couple weeks later, Mio presented me with an amazing drawing:

I can't begin to express what his thoughtfulness meant to me, and to our entire family. My grandpa lived at an adult family home at the time, and I posted it on the wall of his room along with family pictures. I had to describe it to my grandpa, as he was nearly blind by this point, and I had to shout to be heard, to explain that this was drawn by Mio, one of the youth in Activate. I also told one of the nurses, in case my grandpa asked about it later. It was so tough to see my grandpa going through this.

Christmas of 2014, Activate celebrated with a white elephant gift exchange. As much as I love gift exchanges, I'm not a fan of the one where everyone gets a number. The first person opens a gift. The second person has a choice of claiming the first person's gift or opening a new one...and so on. Gifts can only be claimed from someone else once or twice, but as long as it's eligible to be claimed, the person who has it must let the other person take it, and may not reclaim it. I selected a gift and opened it to discover a calligraphy set. It was very cool and I was excited about it. Mio's turn was a few rounds later, and he walked up to me to claim it. I don't remember what I got instead, but what I do remember is that after the gift exchange was over, he came over and handed it back to me. I was so surprised and deeply moved. It was the last thing I expected.

In May of 2015, our family was gathered around my grandpa's bed when he took his final breath and was ushered into glory. Activate had planned to visit him, but he didn't make it to the scheduled date. The way Activate rallied around us and supported our family through that difficult time meant the world to us. At his memorial, I read my grandpa's eulogy. Mio was in attendance.

At one point, Mio invited me to a track meet at his high school. I felt honored to attend.

In 2016, I did the illustration at the top of this post of him, using a picture I took as the background.

In 2019, we met and caught up, and took a walk. It was great to see him again. We got some pictures:

Mio is a dear friend and brother in Christ. More than almost anyone I know, he exemplifies 1 Timothy 4:12: "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity." Despite being about half my age now, he has challenged me to be a better person, to practice my art, and to be more thoughtful and generous toward others. I was one of his youth leaders, but I feel like he has taught me a lot more than I taught him.

Creation

Nothing. There was nothing there. Just empty nothingness. So God decided to do something about it. He made outer space and the earth, but the earth was very different than it is today. It was empty and watery and very dark. Darkness is OK sometimes, but this was too dark. So God said, “LET THERE BE LIGHT!” Ah, that was better! God separated the light and the darkness, and He loved it! He called the light day and the darkness night. A lot of important stuff happened that first day.

The next day, God continued His big project. He decided to separate the water. Some of the water stayed below, and some of it went up. He called the space between the waters sky.

The third day, things got really interesting. God decided to gather the water below together, and pretty soon, stuff came out of the water. It dried up, and He called it land. He called the water sea. Now that was cool! Then God said, “OK, now let’s grow some plants!” So grass and trees grew. New bushes sprouted up. Pine trees climbed into the sky and grew cones. Flowers bloomed. Apple trees came up. Palm trees spread out their long and feathery branches and grew fruits like coconuts and dates. Every kind of plant and tree you can think of grew out of the ground. Many of them had fruits. This was super cool!

Next day, God said, “OK, time to separate the lights in the sky.” So He separated the day from the night. He made the stars. One star in particular, the sun, would shine on the earth during the day, and its light would shine on a smaller ball in the sky, the moon, to provide light during the night. God was really excited about this new development.

So the fifth day dawned. Now that the land, the sea, the light and the plants were ready, it was time for God to create more life. Fish swam in the sea. Birds flew through the air and perched in the trees. Eagles soared above it all, while sea anemone and coral grew underwater, and the clownfish swam in and out of them. Jellyfish floated in the water. Octopi walked across the ocean floor on all eight legs. Pterodactyls flew overhead. Doves and blackbirds excitedly got to know their new lives and habitats.

Then came the sixth day. God wasn’t done making animals. He had made animals to fill the sea and the sky the day before, but now it was time to make animals on land. Dogs and cats chased each other while elephants trumpeted, bears and lions roared, insects scurried around, horses neighed and cows mooed. T-rexes chased their prey, and giraffes and brontosauruses reached high into the trees to find the most delicious leaves. Snakes slithered, and worms burrowed in the ground. This was awesome!

But there was still something missing. God said, “OK, time to make people! They’ll look like Me!” So God made a man and a woman. He told them to take care of the land and the animals, the sea and the sky. They were allowed to eat the fruit and leaves from the plants and the meat from the animals.

God looked at this whole big work of art He had made those first six days, and it was great!

So the sun set, and when it rose the next day, God rested. The past week had been a lot of work, and He needed to take a break.

I'm Tired

Since this cartoon was inspired by a workout at Vision Quest, I thought it might be appropriate to blog it on the eve of the day this amazing gym closes. (Although since it's midnight now, it's technically the morning of the day it closes.)

My friend Tyler (see more about him here) was guiding me through a challenging workout, and we were using one of the two very large tires in the gym. I commented that I was tired out, and was amused by the irony of being tired working out on tires. It made me think of monster trucks. The drivers work those tires (and trucks) really hard. If they were alive, they might be tired on their tires sometimes.

This was before I actually started losing weight, so I was tired out a whole lot easier than I am now.

"I'm Tired"

© April 9, 2013 

Steven Sauke

Illustration