Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts

Saturday, January 7, 2023

The Cactus

I wrote the following poem April 8, 2002 following a difficult event. (Interestingly, I don't even recall what event that was, but my younger self tells me it was seriously trying.) Working through the pain, I realized that holding onto it was just about as absurd as trying to hug a cactus. It would only hurt me further. I also thought of 1 Peter 5:6-7. I've often seen both these verses quoted in different contexts, but rarely together: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

I also blogged about 1 Peter 5:7 a few years ago, here. It's one of my favorite verses. The lesson was further reinforced later that year, as I blogged here.

What cactus are you trying to hug? Let it go!

Photo by Cara Tracy
Used with permission

I clung to a cactus
Embraced it in my arms
And the pain ripped through my aching body!

The spines pricked my skin
The pain grew intense;
But the worse the pain, the tighter I clung!

I cried out in agony
I complained and bemoaned the pain
As I fought against the cactus
And I clung
Still tighter

Until God said,
"My child,
Give Me the cactus.
Let go of the cactus
And let Me take your pain."

And I

          let

                    go

And let God take the cactus
He took away the pain
He healed my biting wounds
And in their place, He gave me peace
And joy
My trust in Him grew stronger
All I had to do was let go of my pride
Let go of my pain
And rest in the arms of my loving heavenly Father.

Friday, August 26, 2011

The Cost of Worry

My first quarter of worker retraining officially ended today.

I got to school a little before 9:00, and a few minutes later, I was in the library working on my final project for my graphic design class, which was due at 1:30. As the library has an earlier version of InDesign than the classroom, I could only do part of it in the library. Fortunately, the classroom had extra lab hours today, starting at 11:00. Unfortunately, I had a math final at 11:30. I went to the graphic design classroom at 11:00 to get at least something done with my project. The lab tech wasn't there and the room was locked. After waiting about 20 minutes, I finally had to go in order to get to my math final on time.

So with no progress made on the project since leaving the library, I took my math test. It was taking longer than I was hoping for it to take, and the longer it took, the more worried I got. Suddenly, Luke 12:25 popped into my head (I love how God does that!):

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?"

The irony of it all! Here I was wanting more time to do my graphic design project, and worrying that my math final would take too long! I was constantly glancing at my watch (I finally had to take it off and put it on the table face-down), and the more I worried, the harder it was to think, and the more worried I got as a result. It's a vicious cycle. I wonder how long my math test would have taken if I hadn't been worried in the first place.

When I finally finished my test, I rushed back to the graphic design classroom, and (thankfully) the room was open by that point. I had about 20 minutes to finish my project and get it printed. I was getting to the panic stage. Needless to say, I got the project in, but it was not in color as it was supposed to be (no time to print it on the right printer). When I handed it to my teacher, I told him I had come at 11:00, and the lab tech wasn't there. He apologized for that, and he later told me that he would look at the color version on the computer (we also turned in a soft copy over the server). Knock on wood, thanks to the lab tech's mistake that was out of my control, I won't be docked for turning it in a few minutes late and in black and white. But I wonder if I would have been able to get it in sooner, had I let go of my worry and taken care of what I could control. It certainly did not add an hour, and my worry actually WASTED time.

Another lesson learned that had nothing (and everything) to do with math or graphic design.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Unload

1 Peter 5:7 has always been one of my favorite verses. Peter challenges the churches he is writing to to "cast all your anxieties upon Him, for He cares for you." I especially like the Phillips translation: "You can throw the whole weight of your anxiety on Him, for you are His personal concern." It amazes me that the Almighty God cares for me individually and would bend to take care of everything that worries me.

More recently, I have gotten to know the Louis Segond version (in French), which says, "...et déchargez-vous sur lui de tous vos soucis, car lui-même prend soin de vous." (literally "...and unload yourselves on Him of all your worries, for He Himself takes care of you.") When I first saw that translation, I took note of it because it's one of my favorite verses, but didn't think much of the differences in meaning between French and English. Then a few years later, I realized that the French verb décharger means "to unload", rather than "to cast" or "to throw" (although unloading does often involve a throwing action). I thought that was interesting. Then, later, I pointed that out to my friend Jerri, who shed new light on it. She commented that, coming from a farming background, the idea of unloading brought to her mind an image of driving a pickup with heavy machinery, then unloading it and being able to sail. I love that image. Then a couple weeks ago, I thought further about it, and it occurred to me that the word "unload" carries more connotations than I had realized. At least in English (not sure if this applies to French or not), the word "unload", when referring to worries, can also mean pouring your heart out to someone, telling them everything that's worrying you. In the past, I always interpreted the verse to mean that I should just pray to God and ask Him to take away my worries. I realized that it can also mean to unload my worries on Him, to pour out my heart. I know from experience that doing that with anyone that I know I can trust is a powerful thing.

Just now, I decided to look into the Greek version:

πασαν την μεριμναν υμων επιρριψαντες επ αυτον οτι αυτω μελει περι υμων.

Apparently, the word πιρίψαντες (epiripsantes) only appears twice in the New Testament. The other occurrence is in Luke 19:35, when Jesus’ disciples threw their clothes on the donkey’s back so He could sit on it in order to enter Jerusalem. The way it is conjugated, the word means “having thrown.” But in a way, even in the verse in Luke, they took their cloaks off of themselves to put them on the donkey for Jesus. That’s also, to an extent, unloading.

I’m not sure if Peter had the idea of unloading in his mind when he wrote it, but I love that image, and I think it is more powerful than just asking God to take away our worries. Don’t get me wrong, He is happy to do that if we ask Him, but unloading ourselves onto Him, pouring out our hearts to Him, can be a powerful tool. Even just talking out what we are worried about, and listening for His response, can go a long way to helping us through the pain of whatever we’re going through. Whether or not we have another human around to share with, God is always there, and He loves it when we share our worries and concerns with Him. He can help put things in perspective, help us to lean on Him, and take away a lot of the worry.