Pardon Me, Sir

The commercials are classic. A car pulls alongside another, in which a man is sitting in the backseat with an fancy sandwich on a plate, with elegant silverware and the works, laid out on a seatback table. The gentleman is spreading Dijon mustard (which he just pulled out a special compartment in the car just for Dijon storage) on his sandwich. In a (usually) British accent, the man in the first car says, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" The man who is eating graciously says, "But of course!" He may or may not hand it to the man who requested it.

I recently found the following poem in my papers. I handwrote it at some point, but did not date it, so I don't know when it was written. I was trying to sound British, but in retrospect, I may have been trying a little too hard. All the same, I hope people find it entertaining. Perhaps it will inspire you to share your Dijon mustard. Also remember, "It's one of life's finer pleasures."

It is best read in a British accent.

Photo by Prostock-studio on Adobe Stock

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could I make just one little request?
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could you tell me, full of zest?
Would—
Oh dear, the traffic light is green!

How I crave it!
Oh to taste it!
My stomach's set
I need it yet!
I hope that gentleman has a bit!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could you grant one small request?
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Of this I do not jest
Would you—
Oh, the traffic light is green!

Oh I crave it!
Oh to taste it!
My tummy's set
I need it yet!
I sincerely hope he won't waste it!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
I would like to make a request
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
If you could tell me, with some zest
Would you have any Grey Poupon?

But of course you do!
But of course!
I thank you, kind sir!
I thank you so very much!
You make me jolly!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me...

Days of Yore: St. Patrick's Day

In which my "Days of Yore" series meets my previous series on simple acts of kindness shown to me in the past. Most entries in my current series concern changing trends over the years. This one is more along the lines of my previous series, but does take place when I was a child, so it fits in both categories. Also, leprechauns are known for their mischief and shaking things up. Besides that, I'm part Irish, and proud of it. So there's that.

Image by Artificial Dream on Adobe Stock

Anyway...

St. Patrick's Day was serious business at our school in the Philippines. Friends and classmates had no trouble pinching anyone who was not wearing green. So it was with some shock and consternation one March 17 on the bus to school that I suddenly realized I had forgotten what day it was, and—horror of horrors—I was not wearing green! (Cue the Psycho theme) We're talking major emergency here. As I was on the bus, I couldn't go home and change! What is a kid who needs some green, stat, to do to avoid the dreaded pinch?

That's what friends are for. Sara was a year or two ahead of me in school. Her younger brother Luke was around my age. Their dad was a teacher at our school, as was mine. They were even British, which gives a person a lot more authority in the matter of an Irish holiday. Sara had a running theory that as long as a person wearing green is touching someone who isn't, the person who isn't can't be pinched. (This theory worked better for kids in the '80s than it would for adults today.) Obviously, she couldn't follow me around all day for so many reasons, but she had a better idea. As soon as we arrived at school, she and I raced down the stairs to the playground and hurried to a tree, where, with a great sense of relief, I obtained some leaves. I don't remember how I wore them, but the day was saved by the quick thinking of a thoughtful friend who was herself wearing green.

Come to think of it, maybe it would be a good practice to carry green lapel pins or something with me in case people I meet on St. Patrick's Day are enduring a similar crisis. Hmmm...

Simple Kindness is a Superpower

When US airspace was closed following the horrifying attacks on New York, Washington DC and Pittsburgh, 38 planes were diverted to the small town of Gander, Newfoundland. The people of Gander welcomed over 7000 strangers with open arms, and a few days later, they said farewell to over 7000 family members. They gave them food. They transformed their local skating rink into a massive refrigerator. They took them on hunting trips. They took them into their homes. They cared for their pets (and two rare Bonobo monkeys) that were traveling with them. They drove over 500 miles to help a rabbi get home in time for Rosh Hashanah. They screeched in honorary Newfoundlanders. They cried with new friends who lost family members in the attacks. They filled peoples' prescriptions that were packed away on the planes. They creatively broke through language barriers using Bible verses. The list goes on and on. Their heroic and generous actions toward strangers inspired David Hein and Irene Sankoff to write the musical Come from Away. They also inspired Kevin Tuerff, a passenger traveling from Paris to Dallas, to found Pay It Forward 9/11, a movement that encourages people around the world to do random acts of kindness for strangers. Those acts can be simple or complex. They can be expensive to the giver, or even free of charge. But it's amazing how transformative a simple act of kindness to a stranger can be. These ordinary people became extraordinary when they opened their hearts and homes and did wonderful things. Without even meaning to be, they are real-life superheroes.

Photo by Sergey Peterman
Adobe Stock

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. In that spirit, and partly inspired by the good people of Gander and Kevin Tuerff, I have been blogging over the past couple months about times people have shown kindness to myself and family members (and others). I hope this will help inspire people as they consider ways to make this world a better place and show kindness in a world that is becoming increasingly polarized. You may not be able to fly or teleport (though I'm still holding out for the invention of a teleporter), but you can do things that can make all the difference. A simple act can save someone's life.

A few ideas, with links to the post in question:

• The people of Gander, Newfoundland welcomed thousands of stranded travelers and treated them like family. 
• Kevin Tuerff invited me to a private viewing of You Are Here: A Come from Away Story with the people featured in the documentary, who also inspired the musical Come from Away. At that event, Beulah Cooper gave me a big hug. She didn't know me from Adam, but I happened to be standing next to her. 
• A few weeks later, Diane Davis of Gander recognized me at a performance of Come from Away and gave me a big hug.
• My friend Michael Kape generously let me use his frequent flyer miles to travel to New York, and he hosted me in his apartment and showed me the ropes of the New York subway, among other things.
• My amazing friend Barzin Akhavan blew me away with a massive hug. He also has one of the most gentle and loving ways of challenging me to consider ways that I could be kinder to others. That is one of his superpowers.
• My amazing former manager and team helped and supported me through some difficult times, and I was able to support them as well. We were like family. I miss working with them.
• Though we didn't know it at the time, people around the world prayed for my eyesight, and God healed an incurable disease. I can see today because of that miracle!
• The elderly Queen of 44th brightened many people's day with a simple smile and wave, and a friendly greeting.
• The Purple Lady marched to the beat of her own drum and was memorable in her kindness and purpleness. 
• Captain Beverley Bass, the first female Captain in American Airlines' history, gave me a hug, bought me coffee, and took time to talk to me.
• A gentleman who came out to the streets of Anaheim to support his church's women's ministry taught my friend Dan and me a valuable lesson in helping the poor by buying food for a homeless man.
• Another gentleman paid the remainder of my bill when I couldn't afford everything I had been planning to buy at a bookstore.
• My amazing friend Mio used his artistic talent to speak volumes to our family as we dealt with one of the hardest losses we had faced. He also went out of his way to make sure I got to keep a Christmas gift he could tell I wanted. Though he is about half my age now, I admire him more than I can say.
• A generous professor reimbursed my medical expenses when I had issues requiring a doctor in France. In fact, despite their stereotype, most French people I met were very kind and helpful. People say that the French are rude (and I don't doubt there are some), but that was not my experience in France.
• My friend Belinda volunteered to order groceries for me, including tea to help me sleep when I was having trouble falling asleep one night. She has also been inspirational in her advocacy for marginalized communities.
• A classmate at BCTI (Business Computer Training Institute) encouraged me daily by reminding me that "It's a beautiful day!" He reminded me that the beauty of a day has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with our attitude.
• A Thai cab driver took it upon himself to give us the grand tour of Chiang Mai, and he took us to places that were fascinating, educational, and not necessarily frequented by tourists.
• My friends Kim and Jason Kotecki, along with their amazing team, sent me a shining reminder to remember my dad. They, and their gift, are truly a light in the darkness.
• Their older daughter Lucy made some incredible winter hats at a reasonable price, and she has done more than most people her age to advocate for animals who need help.
• A stranger pulled off the road to change the tire on my mom's car, when she was desperately trying to figure out what to do about a flat tire in the middle of nowhere.
• Our neighbors in the Philippines took me in with a smile to wait out the flood waters. Many of our friends pitched in to save as much as possible, and to help clean up after the flood.
• A pastor in Boise, Idaho performed the marriage ceremony for a couple he had only just met. A new neighbor crossed the street to be a witness at my grandparents' wedding. Prior to their wedding day, my grandparents had never met any of the attendees.
• My inspirational friend Cara Tracy regularly paints rocks, and leaves them for strangers to find and be encouraged. She inspired me to do the same in New York. She also regularly posts pictures of things that happen each day to bring out the joy in her life.

These are just a few of the many ways that friends, family and I have seen people reach out to us. Some of them were very simple: just a smile and showing interest. Others were more challenging, and some of them cost money. Most of them were done by complete strangers, and some by dear friends. They are from different races, heritages and communities. They are black, white, Jewish, Canadian, Iranian, Thai, Filipino, and from other countries and backgrounds around the world. They are from multiple states. They represent multiple religions. At least two of them are gay. They are all superheroes to me. There is beauty everywhere. We need to find the good in people, find what we have in common (which I can guarantee is more than we realize), and celebrate our differences.

My friend Kevin Tuerff recommends doing three kind things for strangers in September in memory of the kindness he was shown in Newfoundland following 9/11. I fully endorse that, and would add that we can make it a regular practice all year. It doesn't even have to be difficult or complicated. I think sometimes we overthink things and then don't actually go through with the acts of kindness because it's too challenging and time consuming. It can be, but doesn't need to be! Just use your talents and superpowers for good, and be yourself.

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. Let's go out and be kind to people! You never know how your simple action might be your superpower that brightens someone's day, or even saves their life!

Finding Joy and Rocks

Kamas, Utah, 2022. I had just arrived at the conference center and happened to look down at the ground to discover this guy smiling up at me:

I picked it up and looked at the back:

That could only mean one thing. My friends Paul and Cara Tracy had arrived at the legendary Escape Adulthood Summit, put on by my friends Kim and Jason Kotecki and their amazing family and team. Over the past couple years, Cara has perfected the art of rock painting, and leaving them in their part of Arizona for people to find and adopt. Now she had brought some of her joyful shenanigans to Utah. Further examination of the grounds revealed more faces smiling up at me, such as this guy:

How can you not smile when the rocks are smiling at you like that? I ask you!

I kept the orange one and let others claim the rest. Kim and Jason's younger daughter Ro had also left rocks of her own around, so I got one of those too. They now hold places of honor at my desk. I brought googly eyes that I left everywhere for people to find. Shenanigans shenanigated.

I found Paul and Cara, and after hugs all around, we talked excitedly. Their child-like joy is contagious. Cara (rhymes with Sarah) is a yoga instructor and speaker liaison in Arizona. Paul is Director of Operations at JusticeTrax, a software company specializing in forensics and law enforcement. He is also an accomplished Lego architect.

Left to right:
Kim Kotecki, Cara and Paul Tracy

As Cara has perfected her art and left rocks for Arizonans to find, she has posted pictures of many of them. These are just a few of the many:

Rocks and photos by Cara Tracy
Used with permission

Inspired by Cara's art, in addition to my friend Kevin Tuerff and the amazing people of Gander, Newfoundland, I painted rocks of my own last summer (some of them obtained in Montana in May) in preparation for a subsequent trip to New York. I was in Utah at the beginning of August, and the following month I was in New York. 2022 was an eventful year! I went with a Broadway theme. I trust they found good homes!

Rocks and photos by Steven Sauke
Left at the WTC, Battery Park, Lincoln Center,
Central Park, Times Square, and elsewhere in Manhattan
(I also left one, not pictured, on Staten Island)

In addition to her amazing rocks, Cara also posts daily pictures of things that make her happy. It could be her rocks, an amazing cactus, a picture of Paul, a heart she found in nature, her yoga practice, and a multitude of other things. You can follow her on Instagram at @azjoyfinder. Her joy is contagious, and she continues to inspire me.

Valentine Vows

March 1941. Ken was a young man in love. He had to been getting to know Marian for some time, and he knew she was the one. He asked and she said yes! He was able to buy a ring shortly thereafter in a fire sale at a local jewelry store. Plans for the happy event began. Unfortunately, as someone once said (and even sang), "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." 

April 1941. Plans for the wedding went on hold, as the draft caused upheaval and found him suddenly sent by train to Louisiana for boot camp. It was a lonely time, as the people he met were nothing like the people he had known back home in North Dakota. He clung to his faith and exchanged letters with Marian and family back home. In July of that year, he got word that his brother Melvin and Marian's sister Pearl were planning a wedding. Loneliness intensified. (Melvin would also go on to fight in the war.)

December 7, 1941 was, as President Franklin D. Roosevelt put it, "a date which will live in infamy." Japanese forces bombed Pearl Harbor, killing thousands, sinking ships, and throwing the US into the War. Ken's upcoming furlough was put on hold as they were taken by train through Texas to San Francisco, on to Pendleton, Oregon, and then to Boise, Idaho. It was during this time that he got a phone call from his beloved Marian. She had the chance to take the train to Boise! He was able to arrange with his superior officers to get leave to find her in town and help her find a hotel when she arrived in early February 1942. The happy couple spent time together when he was permitted to do so by his very accommodating superiors. Ken and Marian bought a wedding ring on Thursday, and got their marriage license at the courthouse on Friday. They had passed a Baptist church advertising a Wednesday prayer meeting, and the pastor's name and phone number were on the sign board out front. Ken and Marian crowded into a telephone booth and called the pastor. When they asked him if he could perform the ceremony, the pastor asked...

"When?"
"Now."
"Do you have a marriage license?"
"Yes, we do."
"Do you have witnesses?"

They hadn't thought about that. The pastor invited them to his house to discuss. They would need at least two witnesses. The pastor's wife would be able to be one, and as they were brainstorming who could be the second witness, the pastor's wife commented that new neighbors had just moved in across the street, and she could go meet them and find out if they would be willing to do them a favor. The only people at the ceremony who knew each other were the pastor and his wife, and Ken and Marian. The neighbor who came over met everyone there for the first time. 

It was Saturday, February 14, 1942. Valentine's Day.

That act of kindness to strangers began a long and happy marriage, though it would be a while before they would be able to spend much time together. They stayed together as long as they could until Ken's unit was sent back to California to catch the ship across the Pacific. Marian took the train back home, and Ken would go on to serve in New Caledonia, a small island off the eastern Australian coast. He would later be transferred to Europe, where he was part of the victory parade through Paris on V-E Day.

Sometime after his return to North Dakota, they had their first child. Four more children followed. Between 1973 and 1993, they welcomed seven grandchildren (the fourth being me). 1999 started a new era, as he dedicated his first great-grandson. Seven more great-grandchildren have followed in the years since.

Find someone who looks at you the way my
grandparents looked at each other in 1985.

They were happily married for 47 years.

The morning of November 7, 1989, Philippine time, my parents came in my room. Usually it was just my mom who came to wake me up, but I knew something was up when my dad was with her. They told me they had gotten a call the previous evening that Grandma and Grandpa had been together praying. When Grandpa was done, he waited for Grandma to take her turn, and she was silent. He looked up to discover she was too busy rejoicing at the feet of Jesus.

The afternoon of May 9, 2015, our family was gathered around his bed. He was moaning in pain. We each said our good byes. I asked him to give Grandma a big hug for me. My cousin Annika told him that she loved him, and he replied, "I love you." It was the last intelligible thing he said. My mom's cousin Nola arrived and he opened his eyes and acknowledged her. My mom was holding his hand and it went limp. Annika, a nurse, felt for a pulse and found none. My mom said, "He's singing with the angels." He was four months short of 100 years old.

I don't know how my grandparents' reunion went, but I imagine them running into each other's arms on the golden streets and dancing for joy, along with their son Robert, who was killed in a traffic accident in 1979. They weren't much for dancing in this life, but I picture them dancing arm in arm in heaven.

Perhaps they were joined in the reunion by a man whose name I don't even know, but whose kindness in performing a wedding ceremony at his house in Boise, Idaho for two strangers changed the course of their lives and paved the way for a long and happy relationship. A pastor who heeded the sage advice by the author of Hebrews (13:2), "Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!"

Kindness in the Flood

Cainta, Philippines (near Manila). That evening, we were gathered around the piano singing from a songbook while my mom played piano. We sang a bunch of songs we knew (folksongs, if I remember right), and then we found a very short song called "Scotland's Burning" that we didn't know until then:

Scotland's burning! Scotland's burning!
Look out! Look out!
Fire, fire, fire, fire!
Pour on water, pour on water!

The song was so absurd that we sang it several times, and I could still sing it today.

It had been stormy and rainy the past few days, but we were safe in our house, content in the fact that our driveway had an incline, so it was about 3 feet above street level, should the torrential rain cause flooding. In the past, floods had covered the streets, but never serious enough to reach the level of our driveway.

So I was a bit confused when I woke up the following morning, June 28, 1985, to find living room furniture in our room on the second level of our split-level house (there were about 2 steps between levels). When I went out to investigate, I was shocked to discover water streaming under our sliding glass door into the lower level of the house! My parents and our helper who lived with us had moved furniture and as much other stuff as they could to the second level as the water was approaching. If I remember right, they put the refrigerator on blocks. (I don't remember if it was ours or a friend's, but somebody's refrigerator actually started to float.)

Friends came to help

As the water was about 5 feet deep in the street, it was too deep for me to go out by myself, but with the rate the water was coming in, I also couldn't stay in the house! (At its peak, it was about 2 feet deep in the house.)

Thankfully, our neighbors came to the rescue. They had a much higher second floor where I would be safe. My dad carried me over to the neighbors' house, where they let me stay and wait out the flood waters, while the adults frantically worked to save everything they could from the rising water.

Our neighbors were very friendly. They had a sari-sari store on their ground floor; that is, a small family store with a counter and window. Customers come up to the counter and order food or anything else they want to buy, and then the owners go back and get it, and bring it out. Sari-sari stores were an amazing source of steaming hot rolls (called pandesal) and other fresh food, peanuts, snacks, and other items. As the neighbors' ground floor was also flooded, they had brought their wares up to the second floor, where it was safer. They also had kids, some of whom were younger than me. I remember the neighbors showing me how their dogs could swim. We went out on their porch, and they threw the dogs into the flooded street, and they swam back to us. (The porch had a stairway down to the ground, so that served as the main door in the front of their house, directly above the store.) People in the neighborhood used doors as rafts. Tall friends came over to help my parents with anything they needed. I was amused how some of them used umbrellas, with flood waters up to their shoulders at times, because we wouldn't want to get wet!

[Continued below the pictures]

At our front gate
(The place they were standing was above the street;
thus why the water doesn't come as high on them.
The picture at the top of this post shows
them standing in the street in front of our house.)

Once the water was shallow enough for me to wade in it, my parents got me and I went back to help out. As we bailed water out of the upper level of the house, we were singing, "Pour on water, pour on water!"

That's me on the right, helping to clean the gate.
My t-shirt said "You drive me Bumby's."
No idea what that means, but it still makes me smile.

That was also when we learned our street was on more of an incline than we realized. It didn't look like a hill, as it was gradual, but it was 5 feet deep on our end of the street, and only a couple inches on the other end.

So many people stepped up to help. As with most floods, some people were affected more than others. Some friends had houses on higher ground. Our neighbors took me in to wait it out, safe on their second floor. They did it with a smile, and kept everything as positive and fun as they could. Other friends came to our house while it was flooded to help out. Once the flood water receded, we had a bit of a work party to clean the mud that caked our floors and walls, as well as the car, and move everything back. We put mattresses out on the railings in our backyard to dry out. As difficult as the flood was, everyone's positive attitude was a big help. 

We were able to find humor. I thought it was hilarious that people were wading through shoulder-deep water (in some cases) and holding umbrellas so as not to get wet. The neighbors throwing their dogs into the street made me laugh. (It was safe, as the water was deep enough and the dogs were good swimmers.) The song we had sung the previous evening (about a disaster, no less) kept the tone light as we worked to bail water out.

We were working hard, and nobody wants their house flooded and property damaged. Even so, thanks to everyone's positive attitude and kind, generous spirit, it is actually a happy memory for me on the whole. I wouldn't want to repeat it, but it was a generally happy memory! It's funny how that works.

People sitting on the roof of a pickup,
which was mostly submerged

Mister Rogers' New Neighborhood

Fred Rogers was one of those rare people who was able to maintain a child-like spirit in a world full of grown-ups who had lost all sense of the wonder of childhood. He could always find the positive things in life, no matter what was going on. In scary situations, he advised us to "look for the helpers" (quoting his mother). He was widely admired across the globe. Our world needs more people like him, who show kindness to everyone, no matter their background, skin color, beliefs or anything else, and encourage others to do the same.

I wrote this poem February 27, 2003 after he passed away from stomach cancer. It is based partly on the theme song for Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, and mentions some of his puppets.

Mister Rogers with King Friday
Fotos International/Getty

He’s in a new neighborhood
And it’s a beautiful day up there
The streets are made of gold
And the lake is clear as crystal
He’s meeting new friends
And reuniting with old friends
And all the neighbors are bowing
At the feet of the One who made them neighbors
The One who taught them
How to be a neighbor

It’s a beautiful day in the new neighborhood
It will always be day in the new neighborhood
It will never end
No more need to pretend

He introduced us to King Friday
Now he bows before the King of Kings
He talked about Prince Tuesday
Now he kneels before the Prince of Peace
We learned about a tiger, a cat and an owl
He has now met the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God

He’s always wanted to have a Neighbor just like that.

Good Samaritan in the Big Sky State

Montana, early 1970s. A young elementary teacher taught at one school in the morning and another in the afternoon. That day, she was driving through the countryside on the icy roads, from one school to the other. She was on a schedule and had to get to class on time. So it was a bit alarming when the tire blew! She was young and had never changed a tire before. This was in the days before cell phones, so her options were limited out there in the middle of nowhere, in the cold.

Having pulled off the road, she set about trying to figure out what to do. She had to get to class, so needed to figure something out quickly!

Then it happened.

Another car approached, and pulled off the road. The driver, a stranger, got out and approached the stranded woman. She doesn't remember if they even talked, but he volunteered to change her tire. Once he was done, he drove off, and she never saw him again.

Photo by Vlad
Adobe Stock

That young teacher made it to class, grateful for the kindness of a complete stranger who happened to be at the right place at the right time. She wondered if he was an angel.

This teacher is still young today, but somewhat less young than she was approximately 50 years ago. I know her very well; in fact, she has taught me a lot of what I know. She and her husband would go on to have two sons later in that decade. They named their second son Steven.

Lucy's Lullaby

Lucy Kotecki is one of the most amazing and talented people I know, and she is currently a teenager. As I mentioned in my blog yesterday, she makes awesome winter hats. What I did not mention is that proceeds for those hats go to a charity to help horses. She has raised money in the past to help in the preservation of cheetahs. She and the rest of their family raise monarch butterflies, and set them free. She has a huge heart for people and animals. I want to be like her when I grow up.

I just looked up the meaning of her name. It means "light." Very apt. She is definitely a light to everyone who knows her, and to all the animals her efforts have helped and continue to help.

A few years ago, my friend Kim was expecting their first baby. They didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, and the child was taking their time in coming. Several days after the due date (and still no baby), I wondered if maybe a lullaby would help, so I wrote one. I originally called it "Lullaby for the Little Kotecki". After Lucy made her triumphant entry into the world, I renamed it.

As I don't have any biological nieces or nephews, Lucy and her equally amazing brother and sister are among my honorary nieces and nephews. Gotta spoil someone! 😀 Also, chosen family.

Photo by Natalia
Adobe Stock
This is not Lucy. 😀

Come out to the world
Come out and play
Come out--we'll chase the goblins away
Your mommy and daddy are waiting for you
And all of your friends can’t wait to meet you
Your mommy is brave
Your daddy is valiant
You have super parents
They’ll take good care of you

So come out, come out, come out to the world
Come out and explore the great world with your friends

Light in the Darkness

It was just after midnight when my brother got the call from the hospital. My mom came in the room, and when she saw him on the phone at that hour of the night, she knew it couldn't be a good sign. A few minutes later, he turned the phone over to her and came and got me. My worst fears were confirmed when we got into the kitchen and he said, "Dad just died."

The hospital wondered if we would like to come see him before they moved him to the morgue. I knew I needed to go. Once my mom was done talking to them, we gathered in a hug, the three of us huddled together in grief. We got dressed and went to the hospital. One of the nurses met us at the door and escorted us up, as it was after visiting hours. He looked much more peaceful than he had a few hours previous when I had talked to him and said my good byes (but in the hopes I would be able to come back the following day to talk more, and hoping and praying he would recover against all odds). A charity had donated quilts to the hospital for patients on comfort care, which the family got to keep. We gathered around his bed. It was an important part in saying good bye, but I hadn't expected it to be so soon! He went so quickly. We took his belongings and the quilt home. The quilt is now on our couch. We would get to see him once more, a few days later at the funeral home.

The jar
(My painting Le mont Rainier is in the background.
As it was December, we had our nativity scenes up.)

As friends and family heard the news, people started sending flowers. I got a big bouquet from my team at work. It meant a lot. But the most meaningful gift for me came from my friends Kim and Jason Kotecki. I have mentioned them on my blog in the past. Jason is a masterful artist who has done many amazing paintings. One of his recent paintings is called Hope in the Darkness. It has a mason jar on the grass with fireflies inside and flying upward out of the jar. There are trees at night in the background. It is dark, but the light from the fireflies indicate hope, bright lights flying through the air and providing their own light where there isn't much. (My blanket has that painting on it as well.)

Hope in the Darkness
Jason Kotecki, 2020
Used with permission

I picked up the box from them at our door and wondered if I had ordered something from them and had forgotten about it. It was heavier than I expected. When I opened the box, I found a mason jar with rocks in it. I was confused at first, but after a bit of examination realized what it was. It had semitransparent blue river rocks with fairy lights wrapped around the rocks inside the jar. It also has an on/off switch and a battery compartment. It harkens back to his painting.

The flowers we received were very meaningful, but that jar lamp meant more to me than I can express. I use it all the time before going to bed. In a way, it's almost like my dad is there with me, shining a light into the room. I miss him.

But their kindness didn't stop there. Kim and Jason's oldest daughter Lucy makes amazing winter hats. I ordered some at an excellent price, and she outdid herself. Jason's dad Walt (a cancer survivor and an amazing person) offered to talk by phone and be a comfort. All of that meant the world to me.

Kim recently lost her dad. I pray for their family's comfort and encourage anyone who feels so inclined to join me. I'm so thankful she got to spend time in the hospital with her dad before the end. We've had so much grief and loss in the past few years. COVID, international conflicts, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, shootings, cancer, and so much more. We all need comfort and love. The world needs more families like the Koteckis, who make an effort to reach out and offer a prayer, a hug, an ear to listen, creativity, immense talent, and so much more. Kim likes to talk about chosen family, who are not related by blood, but are as good as family. They are part of my chosen family.

There is always hope in the darkness. Even in the darkest night, there are always glimmers of light and hope if we know where to look. The Koteckis remind me to be the light for someone who needs it.

The Tour Guide of Chiang Mai

สวัสดี ครับ (Sawadee khrap!)*

Hello!

Thailand is a stunningly beautiful country with a very long history. Our adventure there in 1990 was memorable for many reasons. The beach in Huahin in the south was stunning (though we had to avoid stepping on or touching the jellyfish that had washed up on the shore). It was fascinating exploring the palaces and other attractions in Bangkok. One evening we ate at Tum Nak Thai, the largest restaurant in the world at the time (the servers used roller skates to get around).** The intricacy of their architecture blew me away. Though we didn't learn much Thai, the first thing we learned was ไม่เผ็ด (approximately pronounced "my pet"), which means "not spicy" (or "zero stars"). It is a very important thing to know when ordering in Thai restaurants and has been useful to know in years since when I've gone to Thai restaurants in surprising the servers. 😀 I've only had to translate into English for a server once in a Thai restaurant in the US.

Old Market in Bangkok

One thing I will always remember is the kindness of our cab driver in the northern city of Chiang Mai. If I remember right, his name was Wic. (I'm sure that's short for something.) We came to Thailand using frequent flyer miles, and we weren't with a tour group. I'm not sure how all the arrangements were made, as I was 12, but Wic became our official tour guide. He arrived at our hotel every morning and took us all over the place, in many cases to places that were not frequented by tourists, but were incredibly fascinating.

We got to ride samlor (สามล้อ), or tricycles (the word literally means "three wheels"). We also got to ride the similar tuk tuks (ตุ๊ก ตุ๊ก, not pictured - the main difference is that samlors are pulled by bicyles, and tuk tuks are motorized and have a roof over the whole thing). That's Wic standing on the right in the top picture. He took us to visit Buddhist temples. We had to take our shoes off at the door, and we marveled at the intricacy of everything. He took us to the Maesa Elephant Camp, where we got to ride elephants. I remember being surprised that their dung is green. (TMI?) They are majestic and highly intelligent animals. It was fascinating.

Perhaps the most fascinating part was when he took us to see the ancient ruins of the palaces. His English was limited, but he explained that Chiang Mai was once the capital, and the palaces were destroyed in an earthquake around 1000 years ago. The grounds were deserted when we were there. If we had gone with a tour group, we may not have gone there, and it was a highlight of the trip.

Chiang Mai is the home of many different kinds of factories, and Wic took us to many of them. The silk factory (he's holding a basket with silkworms in the lower left picture) had fascinating exhibits of the entire process from the silkworms hatching to the end product. The umbrella factory had incredible paintings on their very large umbrellas. There were factories for lacquer trinkets and sculptures, for jade sculptures, for statues, and several others. They were fascinating.

We could not have asked for a better tour guide if we had paid a lot more for an "official" tour. He was a cab driver, and he took it on himself to take us around for several days. Wic went way above and beyond the call of duty, and he made it a very memorable, educational and fascinating time.

My mom and a friend in Chiang Mai
(Said friend was much nicer than
another monkey I could mention!)

* The formalities in Thai are interesting. In Tagalog, formalities depend on the person you are speaking to, so if you are talking to someone older, you add po to what you are saying. French has two words for "you" depending on who (and how many people) you're talking to. English has "sir" and "ma'am", depending on who you're talking to. But in Thai, these formalities depend on the gender of the person talking. Males say สวัสดี ครับ (Sawadee khrap), and females say สวัสดี ค่ะ (Sawadee kha). That said, I just did a little more research on this and found they have other greetings that vary depending on how close you are to the person you're talking to. Languages fascinate me.

** A little research just now tells me that Tum Nak Thai is no more, and there is a Carrefour there now. I guess they aren't just in Europe, as I thought a few days ago!

Generosity and Advocacy

In late 2001, the world was still reeling from 9/11. I had a temporary position in September, which ended sometime after that. As finding a job has never been a particularly simple task, I was wondering if I needed to take more classes to gain more skills. I had majored in French at Seattle Pacific University, but without a skill to go with it, there's only so much you can do with a language degree. (Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful I took French, and it has come in useful! I have endeavored to keep it up in more recent years.) One day as I was leaving our local WorkSource, the local state-run centers where we can go to get assistance with the job search, someone was at the door handing out flyers for Business Computer Training Institute (BCTI). This intrigued me, as I have enjoyed computers, going back to the 80s, and most corporate fields involve computer knowledge to some degree. I looked into it and enrolled. The first half of the program involved studying computer programs, such as Word, Excel, Access and others, as well as skills in interacting with customers and colleagues, learning to train others, research, business letters, and more. I was recognized as Student of the Month at one point. The second half of the program involved the more technical aspects of computers, such as learning about the inner workings of the computer, as well as HTML and basic graphic design (just enough graphic design to get a taste of it and realize I loved it, but not enough to get a job in it...I would return to school in 2011 to get more in-depth design training). 

During my time at BCTI, I formed new friendships. That was also when I had a terrifying experience driving into the sun. But that's another story. Back to the friendships. The particularly memorable ones for me were Ofa, Belinda, Cliff, Michelle and Josh. I'm still in contact with most of them to some extent (or back in contact). I completed my studies there in 2003. In 2005, the school abruptly shut down, taking everyone by surprise. Students and employees arrived for work and class, and the doors were locked. It was a blow to everyone, current students and alumni alike. Many of us have mixed feelings about having gone there due to the nature of its abrupt closing, but personally, I am thankful for the skills I learned and the friends I met who have challenged me to be a better person.

Picture used with permission

One such friend was Belinda. She and Ofa hung out together. When we finished the first half of the program, Ofa made a Hawaiian shell necklace for me. At least for a while, I lost track of most of them (though not all). With the advent of Facebook and other social media a few years later, I got back in contact with some of them. I maintained contact with Michelle and Josh. In more recent years, I got back in contact with Belinda over Facebook. By this time, she had several children. I also got back in contact with Cliff after she reconnected us. She has always been one of the kindest people I have known, but she has had a difficult life. She has taught me a lot about kindness and patience in the face of racism and other forms of bigotry. I admire her advocacy and huge heart for racial minorities, LGBT and other marginalized communities. With her Asian and Latina heritage, she has experienced racism against both groups. She has actively worked with several organizations to provide food and other important stuff for many people who need it. She is one of my heroes.

A couple years ago, I posted a prayer request on Facebook because I was trying to get to sleep, and sleep wasn't coming. I was getting a bit desperate because I needed to be alert the following day. By posting, I was only asking for prayer and good thoughts. But Belinda messaged me and asked if I would like some tea to help me sleep. I was touched by the gesture. She ordered some from Amazon Fresh for me. In order to get up to their minimum, she also ordered other groceries that would be useful. They showed up on our doorstep the following day. I was overwhelmed. I have been able to return the favor a couple times since then.

Due to the COVID pandemic, Belinda's upcoming wedding would be in her backyard with only a few in attendance, and broadcast live on Facebook. I was invited to attend virtually, which I felt honored to do. I watched online and toasted the happiness of Belinda and her new husband:

Belinda also introduced me to a new friend named Michelle (different Michelle from the one mentioned above), who has a similar huge heart for assisting and advocating for others. She is also an amazing cook, and I have bought sweet potato pie from her two years running, for Thanksgiving. She also makes fantastic pumpkin bread. If you need either of those and live in the area, I highly recommend talking to her. 😀

It's people like Belinda who make the world a better place. She is a constant encouragement to everyone around her. She has had a very difficult life, but she has overcome many obstacles to enrich the lives of everyone she knows.

A Professor's Generosity

Hérouville Saint-Clair, Normandy, France (near Caen), August 1999. My study abroad program was going great! I was with a group of students from Seattle Pacific University and Wheaton College, with professors from both schools, in conjunction with the Jacques Lefêvre Institute in France. Our fearless leader was the head of the political science department at SPU, who taught a course in "Modern French Thought." The French classes were split between a teacher from Wheaton and a local teacher who was studying at the Sorbonne in Paris (which has a long history going back to the time of Thomas Aquinas).

Église Saint-Étienne
Caen, France

I was in the advanced French class taught by the excellent Dr. Grosh from Wheaton. This is not about my classes, but that is important.

Partway through my time there, I came down with some serious pain in my feet. It was bad enough that the leaders contacted a doctor who made a house call to the Cité Universitaire (student lodging where we stayed and held classes) for the Université de Caen. We went into a room where the two professors assisted. I was able to describe my situation and symptoms to the doctor in French, and Dr. Grosh helped to translate as needed when the MD asked me questions and gave me the diagnosis, as I wasn't as skilled at medical terminology. Dr. Grosh also assisted when I didn't know a word here or there. The MD prescribed medicine and other things I needed to do. Among those was wearing sandals to allow my feet some air. I hadn't brought any sandals, so we went to the local Carrefour, where I got some very comfortable ones. Carrefour is a chain of shopping malls throughout France, and I believe it's in a few other European countries.

On a boat on the mouth of the Seine
Between Honfleur and Le Havre, France
(I'm on the right)

I give this sculpture in Honfleur
a big thumbs-up!

Due to the issues with my feet, I missed our group's excursion to see the Bayeux Tapestry, but there was still a lot of walking that would be happening, particularly once we got to Mont-Saint-Michel and Paris later in the adventure.

The sandals were a huge help (along with other treatment). As Dr. Grosh and I were talking later, somehow the subject of me not having a lot of money came up. I don't recall how that even came up, and I wasn't asking for anything in mentioning it, but she told me that she and her husband had decided to give me "a small gift" to help with souvenirs in Paris. I was overwhelmed. Their "small gift" involved reimbursing me for the medical expenses and the price of the sandals!

Mont-Saint-Michel
(I need to go back so I can take better pictures)

The trip would have been an amazing adventure and memory whatever happened, but it was so much more amazing that I was able to walk everywhere without so much pain! Mont-Saint-Michel is an absolute must on any visit to France, but it involves a lot of walking, as the streets are narrow and winding, uphill and downhill.

Giverny is another important place to visit. This is me on Claude Monet's bridge that he painted several times.

Paris was very amazing, and it involved a lot of walking. I think the next time I did that much walking around one city was when I went to New York last year.

But it would not have been nearly as enjoyable or inspirational without the unexpected and generous gift from a teacher who continues to inspire me 24 years later.

Next question: How in the world is that 24 years ago this coming August?!

On the towers of Notre Dame
Some nice British tourists took my picture.
It was refreshing to be able to talk to someone in English!
😀

Standing on the Arc de Triomphe
with the Eiffel Tower in the background

Kindness in a Bookstore

It's the age-old question. Well, one of the many. You find the treasures in the store that you can't live without (figuratively speaking, of course), get up to the counter, and discover...how are you going to pay for everything?

That was the issue I faced one day while shopping at my favorite Christian bookstore at our local mall. I had cash with me, but when I got everything up to the counter, they totaled it up...and it was more than I could pay right then. What would I have to eliminate? There was a line behind me, so I had to decide quickly! So I decided I didn't need that really cool t-shirt I wanted. Maybe I could buy it next time. 

Kraken Images/Adobe Stock

I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to get it at that time, but it wasn't a huge deal. Just as I had resigned myself to having to forego buying it, the man behind me in line said, "I can pay for that." 

Once I got over my shock, I asked him the first thing that came to mind: "Will I need to pay you back?" I wasn't sure how I would do so as I didn't know him (and that was before I got my first cell phone), but I felt I had to ask. He assured me I would not need to pay him back.

So it was that I left the store with everything I had been planning to buy, and the kindness of a stranger to thank for it! I never did find out his name, and even if I had, I doubt I'd remember it now, but that small deed was a major encouragement for a teenager.

You never know what impact a simple act of kindness will have to encourage and inspire people. That man taught me that, and continues to inspire me.

A Lesson in Kindness

1995. The combined youth groups from several churches in the Seattle area took the train from Seattle to San Diego, spent the night in Chula Vista, California, and then continued south to Tijuana, Mexico, where we worked with communities in the area. We were working with an organization called YUGO (Youth Unlimited Gospel Outreach), which facilitates youth missions trips in Mexico, both to serve the communities in that area and to equip American youth for ministry. It was an amazing week. After that week was done, we headed north a bit to unwind at Disneyland. I spent the day with my friend Dan, and we had a blast.

Photo taken at California Adventure
20 years later, in 2015

That evening, we had just left the park when we met a man from a local Baptist church, who was raising funds for his church's women's ministry. As we felt that was a good cause, we both contributed. The gentleman commented that this was (understandably) very awkward for him, and he had gone out searching for two reasons: His wife had convinced him, and he felt God's leading that there was something important that he needed to do. I believe we found out what that was.

Dan and I continued on toward the hotel. As it was late and we hadn't eaten, but most restaurants were closed at that time, we stopped at the local 7-Eleven to get something to eat. As we were leaving, a homeless man stopped us and asked for money for food. This was a bit more of a quandary for us. I grew up in the Philippines, where many of the beggars are in syndicates where they have to take their collections back to someone in charge, so giving money doesn't help (or anyway, that's how it was in the 80s). In the Philippines, we learned to give them food instead (we kept some in the car for that purpose). There are also a lot of homeless in Seattle. I have never quite known how to help, as I don't know what they will do with the money if I give it to them. At times it has been very clear to me that they were not intending to use it for the stated purpose. Other times it has been less clear. Sometimes I do give them money. But they very clearly need help. Dan and I were not sure what to do, and as we were trying to figure it out, the gentleman we had met earlier found us. He joined the conversation. Obviously he wasn't about to ask the homeless man to contribute, but he could also see our situation. That man then did something I will never forget, and which I believe was the reason he felt God's prodding to go out in the middle of the night. He told the homeless man, "I can't give you money, but I can take you in to get some food." He then took the man in to 7-Eleven, where he got him something to eat. Dan and I returned to the hotel, thankful and having learned an important lesson.

A couple years later, I was in downtown Seattle, where a man along the side of the road stopped me and asked for some money for food. I thought back to the lesson I had learned in Anaheim, and I asked him what he would like to eat. I went to a nearby convenience store that had some fried chicken (his request), and I selected the biggest piece I could see, and brought it out to him.

Meeting a Legend

Her story is inspirational. She aspired to be an airline captain from a young age, at a time when that was an occupation reserved for men. She pursued her dream, rising from pilot to flight engineer, and eventually became American Airlines' first female captain in 1986. On September 11, 2001, she was flying from Paris to Dallas when she heard on the air-to-air frequency that the Twin Towers had been hit, and New York airspace was closed, followed shortly thereafter with airspace across the country. She was ordered to land in Gander, Newfoundland, where she experienced hospitality that amazed her. Her story is told in the musical Come from Away, and I interviewed her over the internet in 2018 for a blog post for All Things Broadway. In later blog posts (here and here), I told about when the national tour opened in Seattle and I got to meet several people whose stories were included in the musical. Kevin Tuerff invited me to attend an exclusive viewing of the documentary You Are Here: A Come From Away Story, where I met him, Nick and Diane Marson, Beulah Cooper, Bonnie Harris, Kevin Jung, Oz Fudge and others. Though she couldn't make it to the viewing, I met Diane Davis a couple weeks later after attending the musical for the third time. What I did not mention in those blog posts, because it hadn't happened yet, was meeting Beverley Bass. She also couldn't make it to the viewing for the documentary because she had needed to leave earlier in the day.

In 2019, Captain Beverley Bass released her children's book Me and the Sky. I promptly ordered it on Amazon. I also found out she was coming to Seattle! Since I had interviewed her previously and greatly admired her, I sent her a message to see if I could meet her. We arranged an appointment to meet at her hotel near Boeing Field in South Seattle. As I had ordered her book online, I was a little worried it wouldn't arrive on time, but it arrived the day of the appointment, before I left! I had also recently obtained the companion book to the musical, Come from Away: Welcome to the Rock: An Inside Look at the Hit Musical, which had also just come out. With both books, I made the trek south to meet one of my heroes!

We met in the lobby and she gave me a big hug. We went to the hotel café, where she bought me coffee (she rocks!), and we talked. I don't recall a lot about the conversation (I didn't take notes, as it wasn't an interview :-) ), but the meeting was very memorable. She hadn't seen the companion book yet, so she excitedly leafed through my copy. Neither of us had a Sharpie handy, so she borrowed one from the hotel and signed both books. (Unfortunately, I'm not sure why, but the ink faded quickly. Does anyone know if it's possible to restore faded Sharpie ink?)

It was a day I will never forget, when I met a legend who made history. I felt honored that she took time to hug, to talk with me, and even buy me coffee!

The Queen of 44th

She was known as the Queen of 44th. She had lived near the corner of 44th and 212th, on the border of Lynnwood and Mountlake Terrace, Washington, for years. I don't know a lot about her. I don't even recall her name. But what I do know is simple and profound.

Every morning, she sat in her wheelchair in front of her house, waving to passersby on the busy 44th Avenue West with a smile. When I walked by on her side of the street, she talked to me and always brightened my day. Sometimes even when I was walking on the other side, she would call to me and wave. Articles in the local newspaper reported that firefighters and other workers in stressful occupations looked forward to passing her house, because she was always there with a smile and a wave. She had a way of making tensions melt away in the simplest of ways!

Photo by De Visu/Adobe Stock
(I don't have a picture of the Queen of 44th,
so a stock photo it is!)

As the community continued to grow, developers wanted to buy her property to make way for retail space. But she refused. So while the houses around her disappeared to make way for Albertson's, Blockbuster, Little Caesar's, and other stores and restaurants, her house stayed there and she continued to wave to everyone around. As her mobility was declining, the community came together to replace the steps leading up to her door with a wheelchair ramp.

She was one of the most beloved people in the community.

Over the years, there has been a lot of change. Albertson's is now Safeway. Blockbuster is now O'Reilly Auto Parts. Her house is now an empty lot. But that stretch of sidewalk and that lot where a house once stood with a kind old woman in a wheelchair remains, a memory of a time gone by and someone who taught me the deep, profound value of a simple smile and wave. Kind deeds can be complicated, but they don't need to be. Sometimes all a person needs to brighten their day is a kind smile, a wave, a friendly greeting.

Considering how much time has passed since then, I'm sure she has passed on by now. I'm not sure what happened to her when she no longer sat along 44th and brightened everyone's day. But she left a profound legacy, even to a teenager who hardly knew her, and now thinks back more than 20 years later to remember.