Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Monday, February 13, 2023

Kindness in the Flood

Cainta, Philippines (near Manila). That evening, we were gathered around the piano singing from a songbook while my mom played piano. We sang a bunch of songs we knew (folksongs, if I remember right), and then we found a very short song called "Scotland's Burning" that we didn't know until then:

Scotland's burning! Scotland's burning!
Look out! Look out!
Fire, fire, fire, fire!
Pour on water, pour on water!

The song was so absurd that we sang it several times, and I could still sing it today.

It had been stormy and rainy the past few days, but we were safe in our house, content in the fact that our driveway had an incline, so it was about 3 feet above street level, should the torrential rain cause flooding. In the past, floods had covered the streets, but never serious enough to reach the level of our driveway.

So I was a bit confused when I woke up the following morning, June 28, 1985, to find living room furniture in our room on the second level of our split-level house (there were about 2 steps between levels). When I went out to investigate, I was shocked to discover water streaming under our sliding glass door into the lower level of the house! My parents and our helper who lived with us had moved furniture and as much other stuff as they could to the second level as the water was approaching. If I remember right, they put the refrigerator on blocks. (I don't remember if it was ours or a friend's, but somebody's refrigerator actually started to float.)

Friends came to help

As the water was about 5 feet deep in the street, it was too deep for me to go out by myself, but with the rate the water was coming in, I also couldn't stay in the house! (At its peak, it was about 2 feet deep in the house.)

Thankfully, our neighbors came to the rescue. They had a much higher second floor where I would be safe. My dad carried me over to the neighbors' house, where they let me stay and wait out the flood waters, while the adults frantically worked to save everything they could from the rising water.

Our neighbors were very friendly. They had a sari-sari store on their ground floor; that is, a small family store with a counter and window. Customers come up to the counter and order food or anything else they want to buy, and then the owners go back and get it, and bring it out. Sari-sari stores were an amazing source of steaming hot rolls (called pandesal) and other fresh food, peanuts, snacks, and other items. As the neighbors' ground floor was also flooded, they had brought their wares up to the second floor, where it was safer. They also had kids, some of whom were younger than me. I remember the neighbors showing me how their dogs could swim. We went out on their porch, and they threw the dogs into the flooded street, and they swam back to us. (The porch had a stairway down to the ground, so that served as the main door in the front of their house, directly above the store.) People in the neighborhood used doors as rafts. Tall friends came over to help my parents with anything they needed. I was amused how some of them used umbrellas, with flood waters up to their shoulders at times, because we wouldn't want to get wet!

[Continued below the pictures]


At our front gate
(The place they were standing was above the street;
thus why the water doesn't come as high on them.
The picture at the top of this post shows
them standing in the street in front of our house.)

Once the water was shallow enough for me to wade in it, my parents got me and I went back to help out. As we bailed water out of the upper level of the house, we were singing, "Pour on water, pour on water!"

That's me on the right, helping to clean the gate.
My t-shirt said "You drive me Bumby's."
No idea what that means, but it still makes me smile.

That was also when we learned our street was on more of an incline than we realized. It didn't look like a hill, as it was gradual, but it was 5 feet deep on our end of the street, and only a couple inches on the other end.

So many people stepped up to help. As with most floods, some people were affected more than others. Some friends had houses on higher ground. Our neighbors took me in to wait it out, safe on their second floor. They did it with a smile, and kept everything as positive and fun as they could. Other friends came to our house while it was flooded to help out. Once the flood water receded, we had a bit of a work party to clean the mud that caked our floors and walls, as well as the car, and move everything back. We put mattresses out on the railings in our backyard to dry out. As difficult as the flood was, everyone's positive attitude was a big help. 

We were able to find humor. I thought it was hilarious that people were wading through shoulder-deep water (in some cases) and holding umbrellas so as not to get wet. The neighbors throwing their dogs into the street made me laugh. (It was safe, as the water was deep enough and the dogs were good swimmers.) The song we had sung the previous evening (about a disaster, no less) kept the tone light as we worked to bail water out.

We were working hard, and nobody wants their house flooded and property damaged. Even so, thanks to everyone's positive attitude and kind, generous spirit, it is actually a happy memory for me on the whole. I wouldn't want to repeat it, but it was a generally happy memory! It's funny how that works.

People sitting on the roof of a pickup,
which was mostly submerged




Wednesday, February 27, 2019

More Musical Clickbait

I don't like clickbait any more than I did when I wrote the previous blog about musical clickbait. But I still like to make fun of it. Here are some more headlines for you. (Note that not every headline is 100% accurate. That is intentional.)

They land in a small town in Canada. But they weren't expecting THAT MANY planes at the airport or THAT welcome! We're CRYING!

His therapist told him to write himself a letter. You WON'T BELIEVE what happens when people read it! Share. Like. Spread this EVERYWHERE!

Ex-nun helps decorated naval captain and his seven children DEFY orders from his superiors!

I've been wrong all this time! THIS is why the Lord created men!

You won't believe how this con man seduces this librarian!

38 planes that landed in Gander that day (and 21 that landed in St. John's)

She decides to marry her boss. What happens next will make you sing!

Her ambitions as a writer are ASTONISHING!

They put out the call for help. When Brooklyn responds? I'm SHOCKED!

Displaced by a TORNADO, she uses THIS WEIRD TRICK to get home!

They just ease on down the road to reach their goal!

Jealous uncle USURPS the throne! What happens next? Hakuna matata!

10 guys who want to BRING DOWN the Sharks (and 10 who want to bring down the Jets)

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Musical Clickbait

I am not a fan of clickbait. Sometimes you have to find humor in these things. Here are a few musicals explained with clickbait...

Expectant mother drinks green potion. What happens next will blow your mind!

Aspiring Knight dreams an impossible dream. You won't believe what he thinks he can fight with a sword and a shaving basin he thinks is a helmet! My countenance is WOEFUL!

BAT CHILD FOUND IN CAVE (Oh wait...)

Barber uses this simple trick to REVOLUTIONIZE the neighboring meat pie business!

He tries to separate his good and evil natures. The result? I'm SHOCKED!!

Starved orphan sold to a funeral home after he asks for more food. You won't believe what happens after he escapes!

She meets him at an earthquake benefit concert. Their romance inspires a nation and disgusts an Argentine-Cuban Marxist revolutionary. See how the money rolls in and out. I'm CRYING for her!

Determined police officer doggedly pursues thief across two decades. What happens when they meet will SHOCK you!

Dragon prepares to bake her famous savory donkey pot pie. I'm TREMBLING! Flattery really does save lives!

[clickbait headline of show]

Voyage ends in tragedy as frozen dihydrogen monoxide sinks ship! AVOID DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!!!

Dreams come true! Disgraced Egyptian slave saves nation. You won't believe who else he saves!

He secretly slips some acrimonium in her drink. Boy oh boy, that full disclosure is strange!

How far will a younger brother go to ensure that his sister continues to torture him? I'm SHOCKED!!

Bohemian beauty steals the hearts of a hypocritical priest, an engaged archer, and a deaf one-eyed lame bellringer. I'm IN TEARS!!

Bookish oddball falls in love with horned creature. You'll be SHOCKED what happens when she declares her love!

This girl lost her parents and her ayah in a cholera epidemic in India and is being shipped back to Yorkshire to live with her widowed and grieving uncle. Her cousin has been bedridden ALL HIS LIFE and lives in fear of becoming a hunchback. 1 Like = 1 Prayer

Lord Farquaad's heritage called into question. Spread this ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE!

Boy under the control of an evil supercomputer uses this simple trick to break out!

He dreamed of soaring like an eagle on the big screen in Bollywood. What happened on the journey home will shock you!

SCANDAL!! Apprentice blames rash of DEATHS on one of the plants in his shop!

New Chairman of the Board credits obscure thrift shop book for his meteoric rise to the top. Mr. President, watch out! See page 5 for the juicy details of his upcoming wedding to his secretary.

Greek wine god takes servant on quest down the River Styx. You'll CROAK when you find out who he meets on the way and who he brings back!

Martha Stewart HATES him! Aspiring playwright pens a culinary musical.

You WON'T BELIEVE where Conrad Birdie is going next, and you'll be SHOCKED about his one last kiss before he leaves! We're CRYING!

OMG, you guys! If there ever was a perfect couple, THIS ONE qualifies!

SCANDAL!! Jilted bathing beauty MURDERS diva!

You won't believe what this hobbit did with his priceless ring!

Gangster threatens to KILL his girlfriend, a bar singer. You WON'T BELIEVE where the police hide her, or what she does to the place!

What this Greek demigod was accused of stealing will literally SHOCK you!

Forbidden love between an Egyptian prince and a Nubian princess, and we just CAN'T EVEN!!

Have you heard? There's a rumor in St. Petersburg!

Diva breaks silence on upstart managers, being cast out of opera, and the unsuitability of her replacement

Exclusive! Who is the real Christine Daaé? Get all the details from opera insider Carlotta Giudicelli! Prepare to be shocked! Does Ms. Daaé owe her so-called talent to a mysterious "Opera Ghost", or is it just her rich lover, the Opera's new patron?

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

False Musical Plots

My craziness has struck again. This time I decided to come up with musicals, using their actual titles, but summarize the plots completely wrong. Enjoy!

Wicked
About a bunch of candles that have just had their wicks installed. They have been wicked.

The Phantom of the Opera
The sad tale of Banquo's ghost in an opera version of the Scottish Play

Titanic
Inspired by Big, but he gets much, MUUUCCHHHH bigger!

Rent
About a rip in time and space... It is rent in twain!

Sister Act
A remake of White Christmas, focusing on the Haynes Sisters

Beauty and the Beast
A mysterious deformed creature haunts an opera house and trains a beautiful diva to sing

A Very Potter Musical
The Brady Bunch learns to make pots

Something Rotten
A musical about cleaning out the fridge at work

Cats
All the actors completely ignore the director, drawing a metaphorical parallel to herding cats

Hamilton
People get ill from eating a ton of ham

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
About a factory that churns out merchandise for the hit band "Charlie and the Chocolate"

Shrek
About a failed attempt at turning Star Trek into a musical. It was named with a mouth full of food. The person tried to say "Star Trek", but it came out all garbled.

The Buddy Holly Story
Two holly bushes become best friends

Once on This Island
Captain Jack Sparrow remembers the last time he was left marooned on this island. There was more rum at the time.

Elf
An elf moves to the Shire and revolutionizes the hobbits' gardens, songs and culture

Pippin
The Lord of the Rings from Peregrin Took's perspective

Young Frankenstein
A teenager learns honesty while drinking from a stein

Miss Saigon
Someone moves across the world from Vietnam and feels homesick. They really miss Saigon!

Aladdin
A boy is stuck in something, but what is the lad in? You don't find out until the end.

Urinetown
Where you are once you get downtown: you're in town.

Evita
A Spanish musical about avoidance

Sunset Boulevard
A musical about a road that is stuck in a time loop at sunset

Mamma Mia!
Super Mario Bros, the Musical!

The Drowsy Chaperone
An elementary field trip goes wrong when the overworked and underpaid parent who comes along falls asleep

Spamalot
The ultimate war against junk mail. Canned meat gets thrown across the stage.

The Civil War
A polite disagreement among gentlemen

Man of La Mancha
A Spanish man applies to Starbucks and specializes in making macchiatos​. (Mancha and macchiato literally mean "stain" in Spanish and Italian, respectively.)

The Wizard of Oz
After an exemplary career at Hogwarts, the potions master retires to sell potions by the ounce.

Ragtime
That time of the day when things get so dirty that simple tissues won't do.

Into the Woods
A sequel of Legally Blonde, where the main character is a huge fan of Elle Woods

Camelot
Set in the desert, where there are lots and lots of camels

My Fair Lady
The sad tale of Sansa Stark and her ill-fated direwolf

Bat Boy
In an attempt to sound cooler and more menacing, Robin rebrands himself

The King & I
The life and times of Priscilla Presley

State Fair
Iowa is rated as simply fair. Not great, not horrible, just fair.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Josh Groban's dog must be exorcised when he starts biting off people's hair

Hairspray
A mad scientist invents an aerosol can that sprays hair everywhere.

Matilda
The sad tale of an Australian swagman who stole a jumbuck and jumped in a billabong rather than be arrested. It involves a fair amount of waltzing.

The Slipper and the Rose
"Rose Tyler, I - "

Chicago
The entire cast gets blown across the stage by a strong wind

Carousel
Travelers at the airport are constantly losing their baggage because the baggage claim carousel isn't working right

Labyrinth
The third task of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, extended into a full length musical

Oliver!
An amateur gardener calls in the professionals to groom his olive tree

The Scarlet Pimpernel
A star-crossed lover picks the perfect red flower for his beloved girlfriend

Love Never Dies
An appropriately-named musical in which the lovers truly love each other, are utterly faithful to each other, and they both survive. In fact, they are vampires, so they are immortal.

Annie Get Your Gun
Annie must take extreme measures to protect herself from the ongoing threat of Miss Hannigan, Rooster, and their devious schemes to find Easy Street

Mame
About a serial murderer who can't spell right

Annie
All about Annie Oakley and her sharpshooting skills

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
A futuristic story of an innovative young lad who invents a coat that can project movies

Hello Dolly!
Dolly keeps missing the painfully obvious. I mean, hello!!

Groundhog Day
Old Ivy finally defeats the Chipmunks, and the mayor declares a holiday to celebrate. J. Pierrepont Finch gives a speech (sung, of course) at the ceremony.

Addams Family
Belle meets her future in-laws

Jersey Boys
A group of football players campaigns to replace their old outdated jerseys

The Falsettos
The show must go on, despite all the sopranos and altos having various unavoidable conflicts to the choral concert. The tenors and basses must cover for them.

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

I'm Tired

Since this cartoon was inspired by a workout at Vision Quest, I thought it might be appropriate to blog it on the eve of the day this amazing gym closes. (Although since it's midnight now, it's technically the morning of the day it closes.)

My friend Tyler (see more about him here) was guiding me through a challenging workout, and we were using one of the two very large tires in the gym. I commented that I was tired out, and was amused by the irony of being tired working out on tires. It made me think of monster trucks. The drivers work those tires (and trucks) really hard. If they were alive, they might be tired on their tires sometimes.

This was before I actually started losing weight, so I was tired out a whole lot easier than I am now.

"I'm Tired"
© April 9, 2013 
Steven Sauke
Illustration