Blessed Assurance: Glory from Blindness

Frances Jane was born in Putnam County, New York on March 24, 1820. She was a beautiful baby girl, but at 6 weeks, a misguided doctor attempted to treat an eye infection with a mustard plaster poultice. It was a decision that would leave her blind for the next (nearly) 95 years.

Fanny Crosby at 25

When she was 9, young Fanny Crosby wrote:

"O what a happy soul am I,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world
Contented I will be.
How many blessings I enjoy
That other people don't.
To weep and sigh because I'm blind,
I cannot, and I won't."

Incredibly gifted, she entered New York Institute for the Blind at the age of 15, and after graduating was invited to teach there. While she was in school, Braille hadn't even reached the US yet. She would never use it. Around the age of 20, she met a talented blind musician named Alexander Van Alstyne, who came to her school. They fell in love and were married in 1858.

In 1873, she was visiting her friend Mrs. Phoebe Knapp. By this time she was known to many as Aunt Fanny. During their visit, Mrs. Knapp sat down at her piano and played a new piece she had just written. Phoebe wondered, "What does this tune say?" After a few minutes of thought and prayer, Fanny said, "It says, 'Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!'"

She then began to dictate words to fit in Knapp's tune:

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels, descending, bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

She took great joy in her salvation, her love, and the promise of glory. A blind woman had "visions of rapture...burst[ing] on [her] sight!" The first thing she saw after being blinded as a baby was the glory she sang about in life. Indeed, she once said, "If I had a choice, I would still choose to remain blind...for when I die, the first face I will ever see will be the face of my blessed Saviour."

From her autobiography
Fanny Crosby, Memories of Eighty Years
Published in 1906

Fanny Crosby wrote over 8000 Gospel songs and hymns, in addition to over 1000 non-religious songs. She also published four books of poetry and two autobiographies. She did not allow blindness to hold her back, and in fact, she used it as inspiration and saw it as a gift from God. She is still one of the greatest hymn writers in history. Nobody has come close to writing as many as hymns and Gospel songs as she did.

"It seemed intended by the blessed providence of God that I should be blind all my life, and I thank him for the dispensation. If perfect earthly sight were offered me tomorrow I would not accept it. I might not have sung hymns to the praise of God if I had been distracted by the beautiful and interesting things about me."

- Fanny J. Crosby

Fanny Crosby was influential in the lives of multiple US presidents, including Martin Van Buren, John Tyler, James Polk and Grover Cleveland. (In fact, she dictated some of her work to a 15-year-old Cleveland to write down!) She played at President Ulysses S. Grant's funeral and wrote a poetic eulogy for President William Henry Harrison. She also addressed Congress regarding education of the blind. She spent her later years serving the poor and needy, supporting herself with her writing. She could also recite the four Gospels and the first three books of the Old Testament, as well as Ruth, Proverbs and Song of Solomon.

As I blogged previously, I very nearly joined her among the blind. God miraculously healed my eyes, for which I am incredibly grateful. My life would have been very different had my eyes followed the natural progression of retinitis pigmentosa. But I know that even if it had, I would still glorify God. Fanny Crosby is a shining example of keeping in perspective what many would consider a weakness, instead turning it into a strength. We can all learn from her determination, strength, drive and optimism, both despite and because of her blindness.

February 12, 1915 was a glorious day for Fanny. She opened her eyes and saw for the first time since she was 6 weeks old. After nearly 95 years, "visions of rapture now burst on [her] sight," as the first thing she saw was the face of Jesus. In the words of another of her hymns, she was "Safe in the Arms of Jesus."

From her autobiography
Fanny Crosby,
Memories of Eighty Years
Published in 1906

https://www.staugustine.com/story/lifestyle/faith/2015/02/20/story-behind-song-blessed-assurance/16249006007/
https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/resources/history-of-hymns-blessed-assurance
https://wordwisehymns.com/2010/11/20/today-in-1850-fanny-crosby-converted/
https://www.nyise.org/apps/pages/index.jsp?uREC_ID=428557&type=d&pREC_ID=936886
https://www.aph.org/fanny-j-crosby-embracing-the-gift/
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Fanny-Crosby

It was a funeral—or was it?

I wrote this on March 9, 1995 as part of an assignment in high school. It's based on a miracle recorded in 2 Kings 13:20-21:

Elisha died and was buried. 

Now Moabite raiders used to enter the country every spring. Once while some Israelites were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders; so they threw the man’s body into Elisha’s tomb. When the body touched Elisha’s bones, the man came to life and stood up on his feet.

The dead man, who was thrown in Elisha's tomb,
comes back to life (2 Kings 13:21)
Oil on panel, Jan Nagel, 1596
Frans Hals Museum

It was a funeral
The deceased was lying peacefully
The wails were heard from everywhere
It was a funeral
"My baby, my baby!" cried the mother
The father just wept
It was a funeral
The siblings embraced
The children sobbed
It was a funeral
The tomb was open
The grave prepared
It was a funeral

Then onto the scene came the raiders
The cruel Moabite raiders
Would there be more funerals?
The relatives ran
The body was thrown
Into the tomb of Elisha
Was it a funeral?
The corpse rolled into the bones
The blessed bones of Elisha
The man came to life
He stood on his feet
He jumped for joy
No more a funeral!
He ran out of the tomb
He found his family
Was it a ghost?
No, it was their son!
He was alive!
No need for a funeral!
Praise the Lord!
Elisha's bones had been blessed!
God had brought this young man back to life!
Great was their joy
It was not a funeral
It was a celebration!
It was a feast!
Great is the Lord our God!
Praise His mighty Name!

Finding Joy and Rocks

Kamas, Utah, 2022. I had just arrived at the conference center and happened to look down at the ground to discover this guy smiling up at me:

I picked it up and looked at the back:

That could only mean one thing. My friends Paul and Cara Tracy had arrived at the legendary Escape Adulthood Summit, put on by my friends Kim and Jason Kotecki and their amazing family and team. Over the past couple years, Cara has perfected the art of rock painting, and leaving them in their part of Arizona for people to find and adopt. Now she had brought some of her joyful shenanigans to Utah. Further examination of the grounds revealed more faces smiling up at me, such as this guy:

How can you not smile when the rocks are smiling at you like that? I ask you!

I kept the orange one and let others claim the rest. Kim and Jason's younger daughter Ro had also left rocks of her own around, so I got one of those too. They now hold places of honor at my desk. I brought googly eyes that I left everywhere for people to find. Shenanigans shenanigated.

I found Paul and Cara, and after hugs all around, we talked excitedly. Their child-like joy is contagious. Cara (rhymes with Sarah) is a yoga instructor and speaker liaison in Arizona. Paul is Director of Operations at JusticeTrax, a software company specializing in forensics and law enforcement. He is also an accomplished Lego architect.

Left to right:
Kim Kotecki, Cara and Paul Tracy

As Cara has perfected her art and left rocks for Arizonans to find, she has posted pictures of many of them. These are just a few of the many:

Rocks and photos by Cara Tracy
Used with permission

Inspired by Cara's art, in addition to my friend Kevin Tuerff and the amazing people of Gander, Newfoundland, I painted rocks of my own last summer (some of them obtained in Montana in May) in preparation for a subsequent trip to New York. I was in Utah at the beginning of August, and the following month I was in New York. 2022 was an eventful year! I went with a Broadway theme. I trust they found good homes!

Rocks and photos by Steven Sauke
Left at the WTC, Battery Park, Lincoln Center,
Central Park, Times Square, and elsewhere in Manhattan
(I also left one, not pictured, on Staten Island)

In addition to her amazing rocks, Cara also posts daily pictures of things that make her happy. It could be her rocks, an amazing cactus, a picture of Paul, a heart she found in nature, her yoga practice, and a multitude of other things. You can follow her on Instagram at @azjoyfinder. Her joy is contagious, and she continues to inspire me.

"It's a Beautiful Day!"

"It's a beautiful day!"

It was a sunny day, and I had to agree with my classmate at BCTI. I don't recall his name, but his genuine smile and friendly greeting made my day.

Next day...

"It's a beautiful day!"

This time it was raining out, and the weather was nasty. The commute to school had been frustrating at times. But he wore the same friendly smile and joyful demeanor. Once again, it made my day.

Image from: Kraken images

Every day it was the same. No matter the weather, no matter what was going on, no matter how stressful classes were, he always had the same smile and the same friendly greeting that couldn't help but make me smile. "It's a beautiful day!"

It's true. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. We miss so much joy and beauty when we focus on the rain and doom and gloom around us. Things are tough sometimes. But we can look at life with a more optimistic viewpoint, as this guy did. I wish I could remember his name. I hope he reads this, as he continues to inspire me over 20 years later, nearly half a lifetime ago. He taught me an important lesson in joy and optimism. We can't necessarily control our circumstances, but we can control how we respond to them.

His joy was contagious.

With a simple smile and a (sometimes unexpected) greeting, he had a way of melting any fears and tension away. I want to be like that when I grow up. If you are reading this, sir, I salute you and thank you for the inspiration you are.

Ah, the Joys of Homework!

I wrote this March 19, 1995 as part of an assignment in high school. I didn't always enjoy doing homework, but when I did, it looked something like this. Mrs. Best was my English teacher (mentioned in the poem). The French lines say, "Mrs. Best is funny, isn't she? / Homework."

Photo by motortion/Adobe Stock

Homework.
It is a compound word
Homework.
Is it absurd?
Homework.
Maybe absurd, but it is important.
Homework.
Its synonym is stress.
Homework.
Sometimes it is fun.
Homework.
Sometimes it is not.
Homework.
When will it be done?
Homework.
Am I having fun yet?
Homework.
Hey, this is neat.
Homework.
Wow!
Homework.
What is the square root of 6, divided by 35 to the eighteenth power, times the cosine of nine?
Homework.
Who was America’s fifteenth president?
Homework.
Spelled H-O-M-E-W-O-R-K
Homework.
This poem is homework
Homework.
Computers are awesome!
Homework.
Mme Best est drôle, n’est-ce pas?
Les devoirs.
What a blast!
Homework.
What?
Did you say vacation is next week?
Vacation?
Yea! No homework next week!
But after vacation,
Homework.
AH, THE JOYS OF . . .
Homework.

Your Smile

My college friend Jenny Paulson had the most radiant smile. She brightened everyone around her, and I count it an honor to have known her. She lived life to the fullest. She was a great friend in college when I knew her, and her special needs students at the elementary where she taught loved her.

February 26, 2010, she was arriving at her school when her life was cut short by a murderer with a gun. I wrote this poem March 9 of that year, after attending her memorial. It is based on my memories of her and those of people who shared at the memorial. One thing that stuck with me from her memorial was when someone said that she lived life "on high octane." She touched so many lives. I know she's up in heaven dancing with her Savior, beaming as she always did in life.

Jenny Paulson
June 23, 1979 - February 26, 2010

Your passion for life
Your love of the Lord
Your care for all you met
These are your legacy

But I remember your smile
That smile that brightened my day
That smile that haunts me and inspires me
With one smile, the world could see:
Your passion for life
Your love of the Lord
Your care for all you met

In that smile are hundreds of memories
Different for each person you touched
Flying over the water on jet skis
And running out of gas on the lake
Remembering birthdays
And making sure they were celebrated
Inviting friends to church
Bringing them to Christ
Taking a break from your work
To eat lunch with your friends
Teaching children to read
And listening to their needs
Seeing the best in everyone
And loving without condition

Your smile touched more people than you know
And for that, I thank you
For that, I know that your smile
Is shining for all of heaven to see
As you smile and dance in the loving embrace of our loving Father
Whose smile is even bigger.

2023 - Beginnings: Fountains and Sunrises

Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.
The wild animals honor me,
    the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
    the people I formed for myself
    that they may proclaim my praise.

Isaiah 43:18-21

The lookout from the Wild Horse Monument,
overlooking the Columbia River and Vantage, WA

I was originally planning on going with a sunrise theme here, but the above verse has been on my mind, and it uses a different metaphor. Both work. Tomorrow will be one month since we got the life-changing news that Wireless Advocates is no more. I wrote about it at that time here. Next week will be 5 years since I was hired permanent. Our colleagues around the country suddenly lost their jobs, and those of us at the national headquarters continue to work on wrapping things up with the business before our jobs end next month.

This has been an interesting month. Between tasks related to closing the business, we have been working on job search, updating our resumes, updating LinkedIn, and more. I have been deeply impressed how some of the most helpful people on our team have been managers around the country who lost their job last month, but are rallying around the 1800+ employees who have lost, or will soon lose, their jobs, keeping us encouraged, motivated, positive, and even excited about new possibilities. As difficult as this period of loss has been, it has been a beautiful thing to watch. Our team at national headquarters is closer than ever, as we are all in the same boat.

Skykomish River
near Gold Bar, WA

I have mentioned my awesome friends Kim and Jason Kotecki in previous blogs. One thing they have encouraged in their motivational movement Escape Adulthood is a change from the traditional idea of New Years Resolutions. People often resolve to lose weight, get organized, any number of things. They might buy a gym membership, go once or twice, and give up. I actually cancelled my gym membership last month because I almost never went, and it ended up being a monthly bill I got nothing for. That is not to say I'm not working on losing weight; I have been working on it since 2020, and have lost just over 100 pounds since then. I still have a ways to go, but I'm more than halfway there! (I recommend Noom if that's an issue for you. You can tell them I sent you.)

Instead of resolutions we may or may not keep, Kim and Jason recommend coming up with a word for the year. The first year I did it, my word was Ooze. First of all, I love that word. It's fun to say. People generally think of oozing goo, but you can also ooze joy, ooze love, ooze any number of things. It doesn't have to be gooey or mushy. In 2020, my word was Vision. (Get it? 2020 Vision?) I don't do a word every year (I didn't have one last year), but in light of recent events, I have decided to go with "Beginnings" or "Sunrise" for this year. In the above verses, I normally only hear verse 19 (the part about doing a new thing). But just now looking at the passage, the verses around it are also important. Though we should learn from the past, it is in the past and there's nothing we can do about it...so it isn't a good idea to dwell on it. Jackals and owls are generally nocturnal, and jackals in particular are known for scavenging. Anubis, an ancient Egyptian god of the dead, was represented as a jackal. In CS Lewis' The Horse and His Boy, the graveyard outside Tashbaan has jackals prowling nearby. At one point Aslan protects Shasta from them (though at the time Shasta doesn't know the identity of the cat protecting him). In the sequel The Silver Chair (which has a fleeting reference to The Horse and His Boy), Jill and Eustace are helped by owls, but they are most helpful at night. In the Harry Potter books, owls deliver mail. I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with that, but those are my thoughts on jackals and owls.

In any case, even in the most desolate of deserts and circumstances, God provides water and other things needed, both to humans and to wild animals. Just as a spring of water bubbles and froths excitedly, we can look to the future with joy and eager anticipation, even if everything around us looks grim and hopeless. Sometimes it seems counterintuitive, but an optimistic outlook can work wonders.

Clark Fork River
near Superior, MT

With my goal of Beginnings this year, I am looking forward to seeing what wondrous thing God has for me. I started this blog in 2010, but have been fairly irregular in posting. The past couple weeks, starting with my reblogs of my All Things Broadway posts, I have been working on posting daily. I am hoping to keep that up and develop this into a more regular blog. I don't know exactly what direction that will take, but we will see. I am also exploring my options on the employment front. I'm excited to see what amazing new possibilities are bubbling "just around the riverbend," to quote Pocahontas. 

As my friends Kim and Jason like to say, "Now that this has happened, what does it make possible?" At the risk of mixing metaphors, what joyful spring of water will be bubbling and frothing as the sun rises on my next chapter? Is there an awesome proverbial geyser in my future? I can't wait to find out!

Here's to new beginnings joyfully springing up as a beautiful sunrise dawns over the horizon!

Sunrise over Lake Michigan
Sheboygan, WI

Sunrise over Lake Michigan
(and a raccoon if you look closely)
Sheboygan, WI