Simple Kindness is a Superpower

When US airspace was closed following the horrifying attacks on New York, Washington DC and Pittsburgh, 38 planes were diverted to the small town of Gander, Newfoundland. The people of Gander welcomed over 7000 strangers with open arms, and a few days later, they said farewell to over 7000 family members. They gave them food. They transformed their local skating rink into a massive refrigerator. They took them on hunting trips. They took them into their homes. They cared for their pets (and two rare Bonobo monkeys) that were traveling with them. They drove over 500 miles to help a rabbi get home in time for Rosh Hashanah. They screeched in honorary Newfoundlanders. They cried with new friends who lost family members in the attacks. They filled peoples' prescriptions that were packed away on the planes. They creatively broke through language barriers using Bible verses. The list goes on and on. Their heroic and generous actions toward strangers inspired David Hein and Irene Sankoff to write the musical Come from Away. They also inspired Kevin Tuerff, a passenger traveling from Paris to Dallas, to found Pay It Forward 9/11, a movement that encourages people around the world to do random acts of kindness for strangers. Those acts can be simple or complex. They can be expensive to the giver, or even free of charge. But it's amazing how transformative a simple act of kindness to a stranger can be. These ordinary people became extraordinary when they opened their hearts and homes and did wonderful things. Without even meaning to be, they are real-life superheroes.

Photo by Sergey Peterman
Adobe Stock

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. In that spirit, and partly inspired by the good people of Gander and Kevin Tuerff, I have been blogging over the past couple months about times people have shown kindness to myself and family members (and others). I hope this will help inspire people as they consider ways to make this world a better place and show kindness in a world that is becoming increasingly polarized. You may not be able to fly or teleport (though I'm still holding out for the invention of a teleporter), but you can do things that can make all the difference. A simple act can save someone's life.

A few ideas, with links to the post in question:

• The people of Gander, Newfoundland welcomed thousands of stranded travelers and treated them like family. 
• Kevin Tuerff invited me to a private viewing of You Are Here: A Come from Away Story with the people featured in the documentary, who also inspired the musical Come from Away. At that event, Beulah Cooper gave me a big hug. She didn't know me from Adam, but I happened to be standing next to her. 
• A few weeks later, Diane Davis of Gander recognized me at a performance of Come from Away and gave me a big hug.
• My friend Michael Kape generously let me use his frequent flyer miles to travel to New York, and he hosted me in his apartment and showed me the ropes of the New York subway, among other things.
• My amazing friend Barzin Akhavan blew me away with a massive hug. He also has one of the most gentle and loving ways of challenging me to consider ways that I could be kinder to others. That is one of his superpowers.
• My amazing former manager and team helped and supported me through some difficult times, and I was able to support them as well. We were like family. I miss working with them.
• Though we didn't know it at the time, people around the world prayed for my eyesight, and God healed an incurable disease. I can see today because of that miracle!
• The elderly Queen of 44th brightened many people's day with a simple smile and wave, and a friendly greeting.
• The Purple Lady marched to the beat of her own drum and was memorable in her kindness and purpleness. 
• Captain Beverley Bass, the first female Captain in American Airlines' history, gave me a hug, bought me coffee, and took time to talk to me.
• A gentleman who came out to the streets of Anaheim to support his church's women's ministry taught my friend Dan and me a valuable lesson in helping the poor by buying food for a homeless man.
• Another gentleman paid the remainder of my bill when I couldn't afford everything I had been planning to buy at a bookstore.
• My amazing friend Mio used his artistic talent to speak volumes to our family as we dealt with one of the hardest losses we had faced. He also went out of his way to make sure I got to keep a Christmas gift he could tell I wanted. Though he is about half my age now, I admire him more than I can say.
• A generous professor reimbursed my medical expenses when I had issues requiring a doctor in France. In fact, despite their stereotype, most French people I met were very kind and helpful. People say that the French are rude (and I don't doubt there are some), but that was not my experience in France.
• My friend Belinda volunteered to order groceries for me, including tea to help me sleep when I was having trouble falling asleep one night. She has also been inspirational in her advocacy for marginalized communities.
• A classmate at BCTI (Business Computer Training Institute) encouraged me daily by reminding me that "It's a beautiful day!" He reminded me that the beauty of a day has nothing to do with the weather and everything to do with our attitude.
• A Thai cab driver took it upon himself to give us the grand tour of Chiang Mai, and he took us to places that were fascinating, educational, and not necessarily frequented by tourists.
• My friends Kim and Jason Kotecki, along with their amazing team, sent me a shining reminder to remember my dad. They, and their gift, are truly a light in the darkness.
• Their older daughter Lucy made some incredible winter hats at a reasonable price, and she has done more than most people her age to advocate for animals who need help.
• A stranger pulled off the road to change the tire on my mom's car, when she was desperately trying to figure out what to do about a flat tire in the middle of nowhere.
• Our neighbors in the Philippines took me in with a smile to wait out the flood waters. Many of our friends pitched in to save as much as possible, and to help clean up after the flood.
• A pastor in Boise, Idaho performed the marriage ceremony for a couple he had only just met. A new neighbor crossed the street to be a witness at my grandparents' wedding. Prior to their wedding day, my grandparents had never met any of the attendees.
• My inspirational friend Cara Tracy regularly paints rocks, and leaves them for strangers to find and be encouraged. She inspired me to do the same in New York. She also regularly posts pictures of things that happen each day to bring out the joy in her life.

These are just a few of the many ways that friends, family and I have seen people reach out to us. Some of them were very simple: just a smile and showing interest. Others were more challenging, and some of them cost money. Most of them were done by complete strangers, and some by dear friends. They are from different races, heritages and communities. They are black, white, Jewish, Canadian, Iranian, Thai, Filipino, and from other countries and backgrounds around the world. They are from multiple states. They represent multiple religions. At least two of them are gay. They are all superheroes to me. There is beauty everywhere. We need to find the good in people, find what we have in common (which I can guarantee is more than we realize), and celebrate our differences.

My friend Kevin Tuerff recommends doing three kind things for strangers in September in memory of the kindness he was shown in Newfoundland following 9/11. I fully endorse that, and would add that we can make it a regular practice all year. It doesn't even have to be difficult or complicated. I think sometimes we overthink things and then don't actually go through with the acts of kindness because it's too challenging and time consuming. It can be, but doesn't need to be! Just use your talents and superpowers for good, and be yourself.

Today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. Let's go out and be kind to people! You never know how your simple action might be your superpower that brightens someone's day, or even saves their life!

Valentine Vows

March 1941. Ken was a young man in love. He had to been getting to know Marian for some time, and he knew she was the one. He asked and she said yes! He was able to buy a ring shortly thereafter in a fire sale at a local jewelry store. Plans for the happy event began. Unfortunately, as someone once said (and even sang), "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." 

April 1941. Plans for the wedding went on hold, as the draft caused upheaval and found him suddenly sent by train to Louisiana for boot camp. It was a lonely time, as the people he met were nothing like the people he had known back home in North Dakota. He clung to his faith and exchanged letters with Marian and family back home. In July of that year, he got word that his brother Melvin and Marian's sister Pearl were planning a wedding. Loneliness intensified. (Melvin would also go on to fight in the war.)

December 7, 1941 was, as President Franklin D. Roosevelt put it, "a date which will live in infamy." Japanese forces bombed Pearl Harbor, killing thousands, sinking ships, and throwing the US into the War. Ken's upcoming furlough was put on hold as they were taken by train through Texas to San Francisco, on to Pendleton, Oregon, and then to Boise, Idaho. It was during this time that he got a phone call from his beloved Marian. She had the chance to take the train to Boise! He was able to arrange with his superior officers to get leave to find her in town and help her find a hotel when she arrived in early February 1942. The happy couple spent time together when he was permitted to do so by his very accommodating superiors. Ken and Marian bought a wedding ring on Thursday, and got their marriage license at the courthouse on Friday. They had passed a Baptist church advertising a Wednesday prayer meeting, and the pastor's name and phone number were on the sign board out front. Ken and Marian crowded into a telephone booth and called the pastor. When they asked him if he could perform the ceremony, the pastor asked...

"When?"
"Now."
"Do you have a marriage license?"
"Yes, we do."
"Do you have witnesses?"

They hadn't thought about that. The pastor invited them to his house to discuss. They would need at least two witnesses. The pastor's wife would be able to be one, and as they were brainstorming who could be the second witness, the pastor's wife commented that new neighbors had just moved in across the street, and she could go meet them and find out if they would be willing to do them a favor. The only people at the ceremony who knew each other were the pastor and his wife, and Ken and Marian. The neighbor who came over met everyone there for the first time. 

It was Saturday, February 14, 1942. Valentine's Day.

That act of kindness to strangers began a long and happy marriage, though it would be a while before they would be able to spend much time together. They stayed together as long as they could until Ken's unit was sent back to California to catch the ship across the Pacific. Marian took the train back home, and Ken would go on to serve in New Caledonia, a small island off the eastern Australian coast. He would later be transferred to Europe, where he was part of the victory parade through Paris on V-E Day.

Sometime after his return to North Dakota, they had their first child. Four more children followed. Between 1973 and 1993, they welcomed seven grandchildren (the fourth being me). 1999 started a new era, as he dedicated his first great-grandson. Seven more great-grandchildren have followed in the years since.

Find someone who looks at you the way my
grandparents looked at each other in 1985.

They were happily married for 47 years.

The morning of November 7, 1989, Philippine time, my parents came in my room. Usually it was just my mom who came to wake me up, but I knew something was up when my dad was with her. They told me they had gotten a call the previous evening that Grandma and Grandpa had been together praying. When Grandpa was done, he waited for Grandma to take her turn, and she was silent. He looked up to discover she was too busy rejoicing at the feet of Jesus.

The afternoon of May 9, 2015, our family was gathered around his bed. He was moaning in pain. We each said our good byes. I asked him to give Grandma a big hug for me. My cousin Annika told him that she loved him, and he replied, "I love you." It was the last intelligible thing he said. My mom's cousin Nola arrived and he opened his eyes and acknowledged her. My mom was holding his hand and it went limp. Annika, a nurse, felt for a pulse and found none. My mom said, "He's singing with the angels." He was four months short of 100 years old.

I don't know how my grandparents' reunion went, but I imagine them running into each other's arms on the golden streets and dancing for joy, along with their son Robert, who was killed in a traffic accident in 1979. They weren't much for dancing in this life, but I picture them dancing arm in arm in heaven.

Perhaps they were joined in the reunion by a man whose name I don't even know, but whose kindness in performing a wedding ceremony at his house in Boise, Idaho for two strangers changed the course of their lives and paved the way for a long and happy relationship. A pastor who heeded the sage advice by the author of Hebrews (13:2), "Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!"

Good Samaritan in the Big Sky State

Montana, early 1970s. A young elementary teacher taught at one school in the morning and another in the afternoon. That day, she was driving through the countryside on the icy roads, from one school to the other. She was on a schedule and had to get to class on time. So it was a bit alarming when the tire blew! She was young and had never changed a tire before. This was in the days before cell phones, so her options were limited out there in the middle of nowhere, in the cold.

Having pulled off the road, she set about trying to figure out what to do. She had to get to class, so needed to figure something out quickly!

Then it happened.

Another car approached, and pulled off the road. The driver, a stranger, got out and approached the stranded woman. She doesn't remember if they even talked, but he volunteered to change her tire. Once he was done, he drove off, and she never saw him again.

Photo by Vlad
Adobe Stock

That young teacher made it to class, grateful for the kindness of a complete stranger who happened to be at the right place at the right time. She wondered if he was an angel.

This teacher is still young today, but somewhat less young than she was approximately 50 years ago. I know her very well; in fact, she has taught me a lot of what I know. She and her husband would go on to have two sons later in that decade. They named their second son Steven.

Kindness in a Bookstore

It's the age-old question. Well, one of the many. You find the treasures in the store that you can't live without (figuratively speaking, of course), get up to the counter, and discover...how are you going to pay for everything?

That was the issue I faced one day while shopping at my favorite Christian bookstore at our local mall. I had cash with me, but when I got everything up to the counter, they totaled it up...and it was more than I could pay right then. What would I have to eliminate? There was a line behind me, so I had to decide quickly! So I decided I didn't need that really cool t-shirt I wanted. Maybe I could buy it next time. 

Kraken Images/Adobe Stock

I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to get it at that time, but it wasn't a huge deal. Just as I had resigned myself to having to forego buying it, the man behind me in line said, "I can pay for that." 

Once I got over my shock, I asked him the first thing that came to mind: "Will I need to pay you back?" I wasn't sure how I would do so as I didn't know him (and that was before I got my first cell phone), but I felt I had to ask. He assured me I would not need to pay him back.

So it was that I left the store with everything I had been planning to buy, and the kindness of a stranger to thank for it! I never did find out his name, and even if I had, I doubt I'd remember it now, but that small deed was a major encouragement for a teenager.

You never know what impact a simple act of kindness will have to encourage and inspire people. That man taught me that, and continues to inspire me.