More Phở with Puns

Inspiration struck again. This is a phởllow-up to Phở with Puns.


"My goodness, what a phở you're making!"
Dorothy figures out the Lion's calling in life

Subaru Phởrester
A car dealership that serves pho while you're waiting

Phởbidden Phởrest
Vietnamese restaurant near Hogwarts

Phởrrest Gump
Run, Phởrrest, run!

Phởrankenstein
There are rumors of monsters coming out of this one.

Galliphở
A restaurant founded by a Time Lord

Water Phởcet
Lots of opportunities to wash your hands

Phở Gondor!
Boromir's favorite Vietnamese restaurant

My Phởciousss!
Gollum insists that this restaurant belongs to him. He would have you believe that they stole it, his phởciousss, and he wantsss it!

Phở He's a Jolly Good Phởllow
They like to sing songs to celebrate their wonderful customers

Bánh mìsérables
They can be a bit starry-eyed, but at the end of the day, their master of the house is amazing. They never have an issue with empty chairs at empty tables (and at the table in the corner, you can see a world reborn). Customers are constantly requesting to stay one day more. Judging from some customers' loyalty, you'd think it's located in a castle on a cloud. Their color scheme is red and black, and they serve Vietnamese sandwiches.

Phởdawan
They teach their customers to be Jedi Knights

Skyphở
In which we learn about where James Bond grew up

Bánh mì. James Bánh mì.
Store #007

Phởnancial Aid
They're expensive, but they offer loans and grants to help you pay for your meal.

Phởd Thai
A restaurant that serves Vietnamese and Thai food

Phởladelphia
The City of Brotherly Soup

Il Phởlo
A restaurant that honors a certain trio of Italian tenors (well, technically two tenors and a baritone)

Quantum Phởsics
Their specialty is Schrödinger's Bánh mì, a sandwich made while standing on a sturdy box containing a cat that is alive and dead


Feel free to comment with more suggestions, though as always, keep it clean. Also, check back as I may be adding more.

Samson

This week's Sunday school lesson, from Judges 13-16...

God used Gideon to end the Israelites’ worship of Baal, and then to defeat the Midianite army in a very strange way. How often do you hear of an army killing each other after hearing smashing pots, trumpets and shouting? After the victory, Gideon went on to judge Israel for forty years, and they had peace. After he died, his son Abimelech took his place. Then came Tola. Then Jair. Jephthah. Ibzan. Elon. Abdon. Throughout this time, the Israelites kept forgetting God and calling out to Him when they got in trouble. Whenever they called out, God sent them a deliverer. Jephthah in particular won an important victory with God’s help, but he learned too late that it isn’t a good idea to make promises to God without thinking about what might happen when you have to keep them. But that’s another story.

After Judge Abdon’s death, the Israelites turned away from God again, and so He let them be oppressed by the Philistines for 40 years!

During that time, there was a man named Manoah, who wanted a child, but his wife couldn’t have children. One day, an angel appeared to Manoah and his wife and gave them some great news. They were going to have a son! But there was a catch. The boy would be a Nazirite. That meant he would be set apart for God. He wouldn’t be allowed to have a haircut, touch a dead body, or drink alcohol.

So, true to the angel’s word, the couple had a baby boy, and they named him Samson. As he grew, his hair got very long, and God gave him amazing strength. This guy was a rough, tough, macho man, and he tore a lion apart with his bare hands! Later, he found the lion’s dead body and discovered a beehive in it. There was honey, and it looked delicious, so he took some…but in the process, he touched the lion’s body even though God had told him not to touch dead bodies.

Samson fell in love with a Philistine woman. He wanted to marry her, even though God had commanded the Israelites long ago not to marry Philistines or anyone else from the lands they had conquered. At the wedding, he came up with a riddle and offered a big reward for anyone who could answer it:

“Out of the eater, something to eat;

Out of the strong, something sweet.”

When the Philistines couldn’t figure out the answer, they convinced his bride to coax the answer out of him. So she betrayed him, and everyone was mad, and not everyone survived. In fact, her father was so mad at his son-in-law that he gave his daughter to someone else. When Samson found out that his father-in-law had taken away his wife, he got really steamed. So he rounded up 300 foxes and tied their tails together in pairs. He tied a burning torch to each pair of tails and let them run wild in the Philistines’ fields. (Think about it. Foxes are wild, and it’s tough to catch one, let alone 300!) The Philistines were very upset about Samson burning their crops, and they got really mad. The Israelites got scared and took Samson to the Philistines so they could take out their anger on him. But as he got close to the Philistines, God’s strength came on Samson. He took a donkey’s jawbone and used it to defeat 1000 strong men! So he became Israel’s judge and led them for 20 years.

Sometime later, Samson went to Gaza, where he ripped off the doors of the city gate and carried them to the top of a nearby hill. They were heavy! The Philistines could tell he was very strong. About this time, he fell in love with a woman named Delilah, and the Philistines asked her to find out Samson’s secret to being so strong. She tried several times, but he kept coming up with lies about it:

“Tie me up with seven bowstrings, and I’ll get weak.” But when they tried that, he easily snapped the bowstrings off.

After he suggested they tie him up with new ropes, he snapped them like twigs. Maybe if they weave his long hair into fabric? Nope. He broke the loom and pulled the hair fabric apart. Day after day, Delilah nagged and prodded Samson, and she started to wear him down. So he said, “OK, fine. I’ve never had a haircut. Try cutting my hair.” Nothing else had worked, and Samson didn’t think this would work either. But he didn’t know that this was the final straw for God. God had given Samson so many chances, and he had disobeyed so many times, that God had had enough. Samson had the surprise of his life in the morning when the Philistines came in and tied him up, and he wasn’t strong enough to fight back! They poked out his eyes and threw him in prison, where they made him grind grain.

But while he was in prison, his hair started to grow back. One day, the Philistines had a big celebration to honor their false god Dagon. They liked to humiliate prisoners at their parties, and Samson seemed like a really fun idea for entertainment. The blind strongman performed for the Philistines, and they loved it. But then, he asked the servant who was leading him around to place him between the two main pillars of the crowded Philistine temple. Samson knew that he had done some terrible things, but he also knew that God had sent him to deliver Israel from the evil Philistines. So he prayed that God would give him superhuman strength once more. He no longer cared for his own life. Samson stood between the two pillars and put a hand on each one. With all his might, he pushed outward, and he brought the house down. Literally. That day, more Philistines died from the building falling on them than he had killed in his lifetime. Samson himself didn’t live to tell the tale.

Phở with Puns

You know how Phở restaurants tend to use puns in their names? I had some brilliant ideas for some more. In case anyone doesn't know, Phở is a kind of Vietnamese noodle and meat soup. It's pronounced "fuh".

Phở and Games
A combination arcade and restaurant

Phở Tography
A photography studio that also serves pho

Phở Langes
A pho restaurant with a finger theme (They could also serve ladyfingers at Halloween)

Phởraoh
A restaurant that serves Vietnamese and Egyptian food

Phởrantic
An espresso stand that also serves pho

Phởnatic
A pho restaurant dedicated to fandoms everywhere

Phởnetic
Thay spel awl thuh wurds on thare menyoo funetticly. Yoo may take longgur reeding it, but at leest yool say thuh wurds rite. (They spell all the words on their menu phonetically. You may take longer reading it, but at least you'll say the words right.)

Raxacorico-phở-lapatorius
Had to get a Dr. Who reference in there...

Luke, I Am Your Phởther
The Sith branch

The Phởlowship of the Ring
A necessary destination on your quest to destroy the Ring of Power

Phởrengi
Get Quark on it! He would probably make a mean pho! 

Phở Phở Away
Princess Fiona's favorite Vietnamese restaurant. She loves taking Shrek there.

Muphởsa
The restaurant Simba founded right near Pride Rock, in memory of his phởther

Ophởlia
Hamlet's favorite Vietnamese restaurant. Laertes hates it when Hamlet goes there. It drives the restaurant mad.

Harry Phởter
Magic happens here.

Expecto Phởtronum
Protective magic happens here. Your soup takes the form of an animal, but a different animal for each customer.

Ziegfeld's Phởlies
Serving up song and dance and soup

HMS Pinaphở
They never ever make their soup too hot. What, never?! No, never! What, never?! Well, hardly ever.

Phởrates of the Caribbean
Yo ho, yo ho, a phởrate's life for me! The Black Phởrl can't be far off. (OK, that was phở-fetched)

Phởlowship
A great ministry idea for any church who wants to serve pho

Phởndamentals
A pho restaurant that goes back to the basics 

Phởlosophy
Socrates would have loved it!

Phởlanthropy
They donate their proceeds to charity.

Hooked on Phởnics
Worked for me!

Phởlanx
The cafeteria in a Roman army, that serves pho

Phởnix
Located in Arizona. They go out of business from time to time, but they always rise from the ashes.

Phởssil
A revolution in archaeology related to ancient Vietnamese soup

Phởsical Phởtness
They feature a well-rounded combination of healthy soup and a workout facility.

Do Bánh mì Phở So La Ti Do
They have a stage for singing, in addition to offering music lessons and singing about pho. They also serve Vietnamese sandwiches.

Phở, a Noodle Pulling Bread
From the Vietnamese parody of The Sound of Music 

The Phởntom of the Opera
...is there inside my mind!

Phởgetaboutit
A pho restaurant in New York (that was my friend Eddie's idea)

Phở Rensics
A murder mystery restaurant that serves pho (also Eddie's idea)

Just Phở You
Shanel's idea

Anyone else have ideas? Feel free to comment, but please keep it clean. :-)

Gideon

Sunday school lesson from this morning, from Judges 6-7...


God had brought the Israelites through a lot. General Sisera did horrible things to the Israelites, and God sent Barak to defeat him. When Barak got scared, Judge Deborah went with him into battle, and with God’s help, they defeated Sisera’s army. But because Barak didn’t trust God enough, Sisera himself was defeated by a woman named Jael.

After that, there was peace for 40 years.

But then, as Israelites did often, they forgot God again. They did evil things, and God allowed the Midianites to do bad things to them. As soon as the Israelites’ crops were ready to harvest, the Midianites and Amalekites swooped in and stole it all. They stole their crops, livestock, and anything they could find to eat. This kept happening for seven years! Finally, the Israelites were so poor and starving that they cried out to God for help. So God sent them a prophet to remind them that He had brought them out of Egypt and provided for them, but they had decided to worship other gods.

Because the Israelites needed to eat, they had to get creative about where they put their food, to hide it from the invaders. One day, God sent an angel to the farm of a guy named Joash. The Midianites would expect to find lots of wheat to eat on the threshing floor where they separated the good wheat from the chaff, the skin of the wheat that wasn’t good to eat. So Joash’s son Gideon was threshing wheat in their winepress. The angel sat under a nearby oak tree and said to him, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

Gideon was pretty surprised. He said, “But sir, if that’s true, what happened to all the miracles? I’ve heard all kinds of great things He did for our ancestors when He brought them out of Egypt, but He seems to have abandoned us lately.”

“Go, save Israel from Midian,” said the angel. “I am sending you.”

Gideon wasn’t satisfied. “But, but…how do I do that? My family is the weakest in the tribe of Menasseh, and I’m the weakest in my family! Why call a wimp?”

But the angel said, “Go. I will be with you, and you will defeat the Midianites.”

“OK,” said Gideon, “I need a sign. I’ll go get an offering. Be right back.” He went in and cooked a goat and made some bread, and then brought it out to the angel. He put it on a rock, and the angel touched it. Fire came out of the rock and burned it up! Then the angel disappeared. So Gideon knew it really was an angel that God had sent. He was scared.

Then God told him to do something really scary. God told him to tear down the idols of the false god Baal, then sacrifice his father’s bull on a proper altar, using the idols as wood to burn it.

Gideon obeyed, but he was too scared to do it during the day, so he took ten of his servants, and they did it at night when everyone was asleep. When the neighbors got up the next day, they discovered their idols had been destroyed, and they were furious. They marched over to Joash’s house and demanded to have Gideon so they could kill him! Joash replied, “If Baal is such a powerful god, don’t you think he can deal out his own wrath? He shouldn’t need help killing someone who destroyed his altars.” So they called Gideon Jerub-Baal, which means “Let Baal contend.”

The Midianites were coming! Gideon was learning, and with God’s help, he started building an army to fight them. But he was still scared. He asked God for a sign again. “If You really want me to do this, show me. I’m putting a wool fleece on the threshing floor, and if the fleece is wet with dew and the ground is dry in the morning, I’ll know.” So God did it! Then he said, “OK, don’t be angry, but I need to double check. This time, I’d like you to make the fleece dry and the ground wet with dew.” God did that. So Gideon had no doubt this was what God wanted him to do.

He set out leading his army, but God had another surprise for him. There were too many people for God to show them that this was His plan! So God had Gideon tell everyone who was too scared to go home. 22,000 soldiers left, leaving only 10,000. But that was still too many! So God gave them a really strange test. 10,000 soldiers went down to the river to get a drink. 300 men lapped the water with their hands to their mouths, while everyone else knelt down to drink. The people who knelt down ended up having to go home. So that meant the army only had 300 people left!

God told Gideon to sneak into the Midianite camp during the night. When he did, he overheard two Midianites talking. One of them had just had a dream that a barley loaf had fallen into the Midianite camp and hit the tent so hard that it collapsed! The second person said, “That means that God has given our camp into the hands of Gideon son of Joash!”

Worshiping God, Gideon snuck back up to his camp and laid out his plan. It was the middle of the night at this point. He split the small army into three groups and gave each of them trumpets and empty jars. The three groups surrounded the camp, and at a cue from Gideon, they blew 300 trumpets and smashed 300 clay jars! 300 voices shouted, “A SWORD FOR THE LORD AND FOR GIDEON!” The Midianite army awoke with a start and panicked. They were so scared that they grabbed their swords and started to fight…but in their fear and confusion, they forgot that they were killing each other! The survivors fled, and the Israelites chased them. Gideon called for more men in the area, and the men of the tribe of Ephraim answered. The Israelites defeated Midian that day, but there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that it was God who had won the battle.

---

The following pictures are of a threshing floor and the process of threshing, or separating the grain from the stalks and chaff. I printed them to show the class. Click on them to see them larger.

Source: Fletcher, Elizabeth. "Bible Archaeology: The First Farmers: Food in the Ancient World." Bible Archaeology. Web. 17 Feb 2013. http://www.bible-archaeology.info/agriculture.htm

A stone threshing floor surrounded by a low stone wall to contain the grain

Threshing: woman with grain on a threshing floor, Israel, 19th century photograph

Deborah and Barak

Sunday school lesson from February 10, from Judges 4-5...

Israel had come a long way. God brought them out of Egypt, and He used Moses and Joshua to lead them to the Promised Land and then go through the long and difficult process of conquering it. They saw the Red Sea and the Jordan River part. God gave them manna and quail in the wilderness, and He made water come out of rock. He made the thick walls of Jericho fall with trumpet blasts! He even made the sun stand still so they could defeat six cities in one day. After that, God led them to defeat more enemies until they conquered the land. But after Joshua died, the Israelites started to forget everything they had seen. They worshiped statues instead of God, and He wasn’t very happy about that. In fact, He became so angry that He sent more enemies against them, and the Israelites became slaves to a new enemy. But then, they remembered God and prayed. So He heard them and raised up a judge named Othniel. He was Caleb’s little brother. Othniel led the Israelites to victory, and they defeated their enemy. After Othniel died, Israel forgot God again, so He sent them another enemy. Then they prayed, and God sent Ehud to be their judge and lead them to victory. After Ehud came Shamgar. But then, Israel forgot God AGAIN! You’d think they’d learn their lesson!

This time, God punished them again by sending a Canaanite King named Jabin to attack them. His army general was named Sisera, a nasty character. Sisera did terrible things with his chariots and army, and for twenty years, Israel was miserable under his cruelty. By this point, there was a new judge named Deborah. She was also a prophetess, and she got a message from God. She obeyed what He told her to do. She sent for a man named Barak of the tribe of Naphtali, and when he arrived she told him, “God commands you to go, lead the men of the tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun to Mount Tabor. God will lure Sisera and his army to the Kishon River, and you will defeat them.”

But Barak was scared out of his mind. He responded, “I’ll go, but only if you come with me.”

Deborah said, “OK, I’ll go, but since you don’t trust God enough, a woman will defeat Sisera!”

So Deborah and Barak set out, leading the armies of the Israelite tribes of Naphtali and Zebulun, and they went to Mount Tabor. When Sisera got word that they had gone there, he led his army to the Kishon River, just as God had said would happen.

Deborah told Barak, “Go! This is the day God promised! He has given Sisera into your hands!” So Barak led his army of ten thousand soldiers down the mountain to meet their enemy. God sent an earthquake and a powerful rainstorm. Barak’s army defeated Sisera’s, and many of the enemy soldiers were swept away by the river! Israel chased the survivors of Sisera’s army, and not one of them survived.

But Sisera got away! He escaped to the tent of Heber, the man who had warned him that the Israelites were coming. Heber’s wife Jael welcomed him in. Sisera was all tired out from fighting and running, and he asked her to hide him and to give him a drink. She gave him some milk and let him get some sleep, covering him. Once he had fallen asleep, Jael took a tent peg, quietly snuck up to him, and…

Pretty soon, Barak and his army arrived in pursuit of General Sisera. Jael ran out of her tent and told Barak, “Come see! I have something to show you!” He stepped into her tent and found the evil Sisera, dead, with a tent peg in his head.

So, just as God promised, He helped Barak and Deborah to defeat Sisera’s army, but Sisera himself was defeated by a woman.

That day, Deborah and Barak sang a song of praise to God for saving them from their evil oppressor and leading them to victory.

The Sun Stands Still

This morning's Sunday school lesson, from Joshua 9-10...


Word was getting around. Egypt had been hit with ten nasty and deadly plagues. The Red Sea had parted for the people of Israel, and fire and cloud had led them forward. As they advanced in their slow 40-year journey across the wilderness, they had defeated everyone who attacked them. Heshbon, Bashan and Ashtaroth had fallen. Now Israel had crossed the Jordan River, which had also parted for them! Soon after, Jericho fell, literally. Israel suffered a defeat at Ai because Achan had stolen from Jericho, but once they got that straightened out, Ai was destroyed. Everyone in the surrounding cities was terrified, and they got together to try to put an end to General Joshua and his scary army of Israelites. Everyone but Gibeon. They were scared too, but they were clever and decided to try a more crafty way of not being killed.

The men of Gibeon came up with a plan. They found some dry and moldy bread, put on worn-out clothes, and they made sure everything they brought with them looked old, cracked and worn. They found Joshua and the Israelites nearby and told him their sad story. “We’re from a far-off country, and we’ve heard reports of everything your God has done, and how you’ve been victorious against everyone you’ve fought. We’ve come a long way to make peace with you. We don’t want to be any trouble to you, and we were wondering if you could sign a treaty with us. Look at this moldy bread. It was fresh and steaming when we left home! Look what the long journey has done to our clothes and sandals!”

The Israelites looked at the Gibeonites’ clothes, tasted their bread, and saw that it looked like they were telling the truth. They just forgot one thing…to ask God about it. So Joshua and the Israelites believed the lie and made a treaty with Gibeon. Three days later, the truth came out. These guys were neighbors! Israel wanted to punish those crafty Gibeonites for fooling them, but they had made a promise to protect them. So instead, the leaders of Israel made them cut wood and carry water for them.

King Adoni-Zedek of Jerusalem soon heard that Joshua had destroyed Ai and signed a treaty with Gibeon, an important city that was even bigger than Ai. Gibeon had a lot of good fighters. The combined forces of Israel and Gibeon were even scarier than just Israel. So Adoni-Zedek called four other kings from nearby cities, and together, they marched to attack Gibeon.

The Gibeonites sent word to Joshua: “Help! We’re your servants, and now five kings and their armies are attacking us! Come quick and save us!”

This time, Joshua learned from his earlier mistake. Last time, he hadn’t asked God about the treaty, and they had been tricked because of it. Now, Joshua prayed. God answered, “Don’t worry, I’ve got it. Go and defeat these five armies. Not one of them will be able to stand.”

So Joshua and the Israelites marched all night and took the attacking armies by surprise. God threw their enemies into confusion, and Israel defeated them and chased them away, defeating more and more as they chased them. As the enemies continued to flee, God sent a big hailstorm, and the huge chunks of ice killed more enemies than the Israelites did with their swords.

The day was getting on, and Joshua was worried that it would get dark and some of their enemies might get away. So once again, he prayed:

“O sun, stand still over Gibeon,
O moon, over the Valley of Aijalon!”

The sun was directly overhead, and there it stayed for almost a day. The sun, moon and earth stopped moving, and God gave Joshua and the Israelites extra time to defeat five united armies in one very long day. God had never done that before, and He hasn’t done it since then.

The five kings were so scared that they hid in a cave near the city of Makkedah. When Joshua found out about that, he told the Israelites to block the cave with rocks so the kings couldn’t get out, and then they defeated almost every single enemy soldier. Then he let the kings out, and they didn’t live to tell the tale. The Israelites then defeated Makkedah. So it was that in one very long day, God helped the Israelites to defeat six cities!

O Holy Night

The French and German forces were facing off during the Franco-Prussian War. The fighting was fierce, when a lone French soldier jumped out of his trench, unarmed. Both sides stared, astonished, as the soldier started to sing:

     "Minuit, chrétiens, c'est l'heure solonelle 
     Où l'Homme Dieu descendit jusqu'à nous
     Pour effacer la tache originelle
     Et de Son Père arrêter le courroux.
     Le monde entier tressaille d'espérance
     En cette nuit qui lui donne un Sauveur
     Peuple à genoux, attends ta délivrance.
     Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur
     Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur."

     ("Midnight, Christians, is the solemn hour
     When the God descends on us as a man
     To erase the original stain (sin)
     And to stop His Father's wrath.
     The whole earth trembles (or thrills) with hope
     In this night which gives them a Savior
     People on your knees, wait for your deliverance.
     Christmas, Christmas, here is your Redeemer
     Christmas, Christmas, here is your Redeemer")

The Frenchman continued on to sing all three verses of Cantique de Noël (French for "Christmas Song", not to be confused with The Christmas Song)

When he was finished, a German infantryman came out of hiding and began to sing Martin Luther's words:

     „Vom Himmel hoch, da komm’ ich her.

     Ich bring’ euch gute neue Mär,

     Der guten Mär bring’ ich so viel,

     Davon ich sing’n und sagen will.“ 

     (More or less, "From heaven above, I come forth.

     I bring you good news,

     Of that good news I bring,

     I want to tell it in song.")

Thus began a 24-hour period of peace between the sides, starting that Christmas Eve in 1871.

Back up 24 years to 1847. A parish priest in a small French town needed a poem for his Christmas mass, and he turned to a local poet named Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure. Not a churchgoing man himself, Mr. Cappeau felt honored nevertheless, and used the Gospel of Luke as his inspiration to write a poem while on a trip by coach to Paris. He tried to imagine what it would be like to be in Bethlehem over 1800 years earlier, witnessing the birth of Jesus.

When he finished his poem, Cappeau realized that a poem was not enough. This needed to be set to music. So he turned to his friend Adolphe Charles Adams, a man of Jewish descent. This was particularly awkward for Adams, since, as a Jew, he didn't even celebrate Christmas, nor did he believe that Jesus was the Son of God. However, he humored his friend and set the poem to music. I have to say he did an excellent job of it.

The song was initially popular in France. However, as it declined in popularity, an American writer by the name of John Sullivan Dwight discovered the song and translated it into English. "Minuit, chrétiens" (Midnight, Christians) became "O Holy Night." As Dwight was a strong abolitionist, the third verse was particularly meaningful to him. The song became especially popular in the North during the Civil War, as many Americans sang:

     Truly He taught us to love one another.

     His law is love, and His gospel is peace.

     Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,

     And in His name, all oppression shall cease.

     Sweet hymns of praise in joyful chorus raise we

     With all our hearts, we praise His holy name!

     Christ is the Lord! Let ever, ever praise we!

     His power and glory evermore proclaim!

     His power and glory evermore proclaim!

(Emphasis mine, to show which line was particularly meaningful to Dwight.)

O Holy Night also has the distinction of being the first song in history to be broadcast over the airwaves, on Christmas Eve 1906. 

For more details, you can read Ace Collins' The Amazing Story of 'O Holy Night', which is where I learned the above information.

***

In English (and in French, though the singable English translation is not literal), the first verse reflects on that night when Christ came to earth as a baby. The world had been waiting for millenia, mired in sin, in need of a Savior. That night finally came, and with a thrill, hope was born. The world rejoiced in its Savior, as a new era began. Fall on your knees and listen to the angels sing! What a holy night!

The second verse (not in the video above) seems to be the story from the perspective of  Cappeau, the observer and poet. They are standing beside the manger "with glowing hearts" to see their baby Savior. Soon, the wise man come "from Orient land" and join them in their adoration. "The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger, in all our trials born to be our friend." He understands our needs and is familiar with our weakness. Bow before Him.

The third verse is quoted above. Christ has come out of love to bring us peace. He will break our chains, since he has taken on the yoke of a slave, and as the Son of God, He is our brother. Another interpretation of that line would be that slaves are just as human as anyone else, and God will break the chains that bind people who He created in His image. In any case, He will put an end to oppression. What can we do but sing hymns and songs of praise? Christ, our Savior, has come. Proclaim his power and glory forever!

I think it puts an interesting twist on it that had never occurred to me before, that Cappeau wrote the poem as he imagined what it might have been like to observe the birth of Jesus so long ago. The first verse remembers what we have come through, the pain and bondage that sin has caused through the years as we have yearned for the prophesied Messiah to come. Now, in the second verse, here we are watching prophecy being fulfilled. All that painful time has culminated into this moment, this holy night when he has finally arrived. The third verse looks forward to when He will victoriously break the chains of sin and death, freeing us from bondage. Jesus fulfilled some of that when He died on the cross and rose again, and He will fulfill the rest when He returns.

Jesus is our Savior! Praise Him! Whatever bondage we are in, He can save us. He has conquered sin and death. As Dr. SM Lockridge so eloquently put it, "That's my King!"


First and third verses:

First and second verses:

The Christmas Song

The summer of 1944 was particularly eventful. On June 6, Allied troops stormed the beaches of Normandy on what would become known as D-Day. It was a turning point in World War II.

Meanwhile, back in the US, it was a particularly hot summer. Musicians Mel Tormé and Bob Wells needed to cool down, and thinking about winter seemed just the thing. Wells wrote a few notes in his notebook, and Tormé took those words and set them to music. So if you are ever sweltering in the blistering heat of summer, just remember these words:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire!
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
With folks dressed up like Eskimos 

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight. 

They know that Santa's on his way.
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly 

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
For kids from one to ninety-two:
Although it's been said many times, many ways,
Merry Christmas to you!

Nat King Cole was the first to record it:



I'm not sure why they couldn't find a more imaginative title for the song, such as, oh, I don't know, "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire"? But no. It's called "The Christmas Song". But then, Keith Green wrote The Easter Song (more recently)...so I guess that kind of thing isn't unheard of.
The song is a great way of thinking wintery thoughts on a warm day. In fact, I might try singing it next summer if it gets especially hot. It covers a lot of things that people do in the winter. Roasting chestnuts brings to mind the crackle of the fire that helps to warm someone up on a freezing night, as Jack Frost nips at your nose (i.e., your nose is freezing). So you come a little closer to the fire to warm up, and sing yuletide carols. Parkas, such as Eskimos (or more properly, Inuits) are known to wear, also help to keep people warm in the snow. At Thanksgiving, people typically eat turkey, and near Christmas, people have been known to kiss under the mistletoe. Children experience the wonder of the season, waiting with excited glee for Santa to come down their chimney and deliver their presents Christmas Eve. So all that's left is to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! If that doesn't psychologically cool a person down in a hot summer, I don't know what will. Maybe singing Sleigh Ride, which was born out of a heatwave two years later, would help.
I love the line about "kids from one to ninety-two." I think far too many people "grow up" and contract adultitis. If you have that, the best cure I've found is to consult the doctors Kim & Jason. But it's important to keep a child-like spirit and attitude. Sure, we need to remember the difference between child-like and childish, but we need to be careful not to "grow up" so much that we lose our sense of wonder, adventure, curiosity and silliness. When my grandpa turned 93, I pointed out that he had finally grown up, since the song says "kids from one to ninety-two." At that point, I decided it should be "kids from one to one oh two" because my grandpa still has a child-like spirit, and I think that is one thing that has kept him alive for 97 years and counting. He may need a walker now (or as he calls it, his horse), but his mind is still active, and he is one of the youngest 97-year-olds I've ever met. In fact, I will be helping him to publish his autobiography, My First 76 Years, next year. He wrote it a few years ago, but has recently been hard at work revising and improving it. Remember how I mentioned that the Allied troops stormed the beaches on D-Day the same summer Wells and Tormé wrote The Christmas Song? He wasn't among those troops, but he fought in the war, and he was in France on V-E Day (Victory in Europe Day), May 8, 1945. He is my hero.
If you want to know more about the song, you can check here and here. I especially enjoyed this account of the author seeing Mel Tormé and indirectly brightening Tormé's day.
I leave you with the aptly-named Il Volo (Italian for "The Flight"), some of my all-time favorite singers, singing one of my all-time favorite songs.

Jingle Bells

Dashing down the beach
'Cause the sand's hot underfoot
Must get to the sea
Without stepping on jellyfish.

I just made that up...but it's a more accurate picture of my childhood than the words to "Jingle Bells." :-) Living in the tropics, the sun would beat down on the beach, heating up the sand, which was not the most comfortable feeling ever for bare feet. When we visited Thailand in 1990, we also had the added benefit of avoiding the blobs of goo on the beach that were dead jellyfish, washed up on the sand. They can still sting even after they're dead. The Philippines has amazing shells on their beaches, and I loved collecting them. I also bought some polished ones in the souvenir shops.

Anyway, I'm guessing that isn't a typical way of starting a blog about a song that is all about an adventure in the snow. Some people have fond memories of playing in the snow when they were little. So do I, but most of my childhood was spent in countries that don't get snow. (The closest we got, I'm told, was one year when it got so cold in Hong Kong that there was frost on one of the mountain peaks. People came from all around to see the "snow.")

On the rare occasions when we were in the US, I loved the snow and everything about it. Well, almost everything. Since my legs were short at the time, snowshoeing was a bit of a chore, but aside from that... We built snowmen, made snow angels, and more. I don't remember ever riding in a sleigh, though. I have always loved snow, and still do to this day (although I have a healthy respect for driving in it). I think it was especially fun because it was so rare for me, and was thus a special treat. Not only because we lived in the Philippines, but because when we did come back to the US, we were in western Washington. This area doesn't get a whole lot of snow, except in the mountains, so when it does snow in the lowlands, the kids rejoice and the news media freaks out.

James Lord Pierpont (no relation to J. Pierrepont Finch), who wrote Jingle Bells in 1857, told the story of a (partially) delightful romp through the snow in a one horse open sleigh. He originally entitled his song "One Horse Open Sleigh," and he may have written it for Thanksgiving. (There are several conflicting reports regarding its origin, some of which are explained here.)

The first verse is by far the most well known:

Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way (Ha ha ha!)
Bells on bobtail ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight!

When I was little, I used to think that one line said, "Making spirits ride." That seems somewhat ghostly. Anyway, this sounds like a jolly old time. Apparently, a bobtail is a tail that is cut short, according to Dictionary.com. It must mean that the horse pulling the sleigh had a cut tail. I wonder what the ASPCA and PETA think of this song?

The second verse reminisces about the singer taking a sleighride with Miss Fanny Bright. The horse was lean and unfortunate, and they crashed into a snowbank and "got upsot" (which, according to Wikipedia, used to be a past participle of "upset," and means that the sleigh flipped). The author of this page did some research on who Miss Fanny Bright was. They found some Fanny (and Frances) Brights in old censuses, but didn't come up with a definitive answer. It's also possible that Pierpont made up the name.

The third verse gets worse. The singer now recalls going out in the snow and falling on his back. He was lying there helpless, when someone rode by in a one horse open sleigh, saw him, laughed, and continued past without helping. How rude!

The fourth and last verse gives advice on racing in a one horse open sleigh. You are supposed to do it while you're young, and take a girl along with you. "Get a bobtailed bay, two forty as his speed." The short tail must help the horse to go faster. A bay is a kind of horse. According to Wikipedia, "two forty" means that the horse needs to cover a mile in two minutes and 40 seconds (22.5 mph or 36.2 kph). If you do this, "crack! you'll take the lead." However, I'm not sure how trustworthy a guy is who just told us that he capsized a sleigh by crashing into a snowbank, and then went on to explain how he fell on his back and couldn't get up. Is he really in a place to give advice?

Apparently, the word "jingle" in the chorus is meant to be a command. Jingle bells aren't the kind of bells, but rather a command to the bells to jingle. In that case, maybe it should be called "Jingle, Bells!"

My favorite story related to Jingle Bells comes from here. Apparently, it was the first song to be played in space. In 1965, shortly before Christmas, and just before re-entering earth's atmosphere, Gemini 6 astronaut Thomas Stafford radioed into the Houston Mission Control with the news that "We have an object, looks like a satellite going from north to south, probably in polar orbit... Looks like he might be going to re-enter soon... You just might let me pick up that thing... I see a command module and eight smaller modules in front. The pilot of the command module is wearing a red suit."

I'll pause to let that sink in.

The message was followed by the sound of "Jingle Bells" played on the harmonica and sleigh bells, presumably played by the...um...pilot who was wearing a red suit (although it may or may not have actually been played by fellow mischievous astronaut Walter Schirra).

Mr. Elliot in Mission Control responded with, "You're too much."

Gotta love astronauts with a sense of humor.



My favorite arrangement (with alternate lyrics and a few surprises):

Feliz Navidad

I was in elementary. We were learning new Christmas songs, and one of them had a Spanish name. I didn't know much Spanish at the time, but I did know that the Tagalog language got a lot from Spanish, and that the Philippine culture had a lot of Spanish influence. So it wasn't a huge surprise that this new Christmas carol had a Spanish title, and it made perfect sense for it to be called Feliz Navidad, which I learned meant Merry Christmas. I don't remember if we went into what all the words meant, but I was surprised to discover that the chorus was in English! I had no trouble understanding the chorus, but I was confused why they didn't bother translating the whole song into Spanish (or English). For a while I tried singing the Spanish words (anyway, the ones I understood) in English, but that just sounded awkward... "Mer-RY Chri-ist-mas!" If I remember right, when I asked the teacher why it was in two languages in the same song, the answer had something to do with the words not fitting in the tune.

I have since learned the words and their meaning:

¡Feliz Navidad! (Merry Christmas!)
¡Feliz Navidad! (Merry Christmas!)
¡Feliz Navidad! (Merry Christmas!)
¡Prospero año y felicidad! (Prosperous year and happiness!)

I wanna wish you a merry Christmas!
(¡Quiero desearte un feliz Navidad!)
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas!
(¡Quiero desearte un feliz Navidad!)
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas!
(¡Quiero desearte un feliz Navidad)
From the bottom of my heart!
(Desde lo más profundo de mi corazón!)

Nope, the translation doesn't fit in the tune. But that was how I learned how to say "Merry Christmas" in Spanish.

The song was written in 1970 by Puerto Rican singer José Feliciano. According to his website, "Jose Feliciano is recognized as the first Latin Artist to cross over into the English music market, opening the doors for other artists who now play an important role in the American music industry." He was born in Lares, Puerto Rico in 1945, blind. He accompanied his uncle on a tin cracker can at age 3. At age 5, he and his family immigrated to New York. At the age of 6, he taught himself to play the concertina, using some records. He performed at the Puerto Rican Theater in the Bronx at the age of 9. He then taught himself the guitar, again using records! The Rock'n'Roll movement in the '50s inspired him to get into singing. By the age of 23, he had been nominated for 5 Grammy Awards and won two. Then he decided to expand his skill set and learn acting. In the '80s (around the time I learned Feliz Navidad), he wrote "The Sound of Vienna," which has since become known as the Official Anthem of the City of Vienna, Austria. (Click the title of the song to see a YouTube video of it.) Even now, he continues to explore new genres of music and performance. I have nothing but respect for someone who can do all this in normal circumstances, but multiply that respect many times when said person is blind! Did I mention he enjoys playing baseball? You can read his biography here. It's well worth the read.

Considering his career involving a lot of crossover work, I think it's appropriate for his song Feliz Navidad to be bilingual. The song itself crosses over the barriers of language, and the catchy tune even makes the words easy to remember.