Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor Who. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 4, 2023

Days of Yore: It's About Time, Part 2

"This is it! This is the answer! It says here that a bolt of lightning is going to strike the clock tower at precisely 10:04 PM next Saturday Night! If we could somehow... harness this lightning; channel it into the Flux Capacitor, it just might work. Next Saturday night, we're sending you back to the future!"
- Dr. Emmett Brown in 1955, Back to the Future
Great Scott! It's great to see you again! I'm so glad you came back for SECONDS on my posts about the days of future past! I feel it's important to start blog posts about timekeeping with a quote from a time-travelling Doctor. What we are about to experience is not a comprehensive list of past ways of keeping time (for example, I won't go into the water clock), but it should nevertheless be instructive. Anyway, that's the hope.

Had Marty McFly come to Redmond, WA instead
of Hill Valley, CA on October 21, 2015, he might
have been surprised how similarly I was dressed.

Come along with me as we hop in my DeLorean (that's the form my TARDIS is taking right now, thanks to the chameleon circuit and the flux capacitor that I installed) to remember how people used to tell time. We're going way farther back than Marty McFly went, all the way back to somewhere around 1500 BC. I'm sure you've figured out by now that I wasn't born yet at the time.

Sundial

There were sundials as far back as 1500 BC in Egypt. They have varied in appearance over the years, but in general they have had some sort of vertical pin or post in the middle, called a gnomon. As the earth rotates, the sun casts a shadow on a different part of the sundial, telling the time. This worked pretty well, but could present issues on rainy days and at night. The Greeks and Romans made improvements on them.

Sundial
(this one is more recent than 1500 BC)
Photo by Jagdish Bhatt on Unsplash

Hourglass

Now we're moving forward to around 1300 AD, when people started using the hourglass. It couldn't tell the time, per se, but it was a great way of using the sands of time to mark how much time remained in a given task. Half of it was filled with sand, and you could turn it over and let the sand flow through to the other half. When the other half was full, the hour (or minute, or whatever time it represented) was up.

Photo by SUNBEAM PHOTOGRAPHY on Unsplash

Belltowers
Save the clock tower! Save the clock tower! Mayor Wilson is sponsoring an initiative to replace that clock. 30 years ago, lightning struck that clock tower, and the clock hasn't run since. We at the Hill Valley Preservation Society think it should be preserved exactly the way it is, as part of our history and heritage.

- Clocktower Lady in 1985, Back to the Future
In 1283, a tower in Dunstable, Bedfordshire, England gained a new feature. The kids of the day called it a turret clock, and it was driven by weight. Over the years, they were generally used by churches to tell the time, though they also were used elsewhere, such as the real Big Ben in London and the fictional bell tower at City Hall that was built in 1885 in Hill Valley, California. It was struck by lightning in 1955, and as of 2015, still wasn't fixed. (For all the other major changes that Hill Valley underwent between 1985 and 2015, you'd think they could have used some of that money to fix the clock tower?)

Cuckoo Clock

Now we're jumping forward in time to sometime in the 17th Century in Germany's Black Forest. That's where the earliest descriptions of the cuckoo clock happened. It's generally mounted on a wall, and often very fancy. A mechanical cuckoo bird jumps out at determined intervals and sings the song of its people. Thus the reason a cuckoo bird is so named—because of its distinct call. These clocks have a pendulum that sways back and forth.

Photo by Martin Kleppe on Unsplash

Grandfather Clock
My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf,
So it stood ninety years on the floor;
It was taller by half than the old man himself,
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more.
It was bought on the morn of the day that he was born,
And was always his treasure and pride;
But it stopped short — never to go again —
When the old man died.

Ninety years without slumbering (tick, tock, tick, tock),
His life seconds numbering, (tick, tock, tick, tock),
It stopped short — never to go again —
When the old man died.
So begins the sad tale of my grandfather's clock. He wasn't my grandfather, but it would appear he may have been Henry Clay Work's grandfather, whom he remembered in 1876. His grandfather loved watching the clock as he grew up. It struck 24 when he entered the house with his lovely bride. The clock was more faithful than any people; it just needed to be wound regularly. Eventually, it tolled the sad hour of his death and "stopped, short, never to go again, when the old man died."

As indicated in the song, grandfather clocks are tall and definitely don't fit on a shelf. Like a cuckoo clock, they have a pendulum, though it's much larger than the one on your average cuckoo clock. The pendulum of a grandfather clock is typically in a compartment with a glass front that you can open.

Stopwatch

Like an hourglass, a stopwatch measures time rather than telling it. You can time how long something takes to do. They are generally digital.

Cell Phone

As I'm sure you realized, I generally tell the time on my cell phone these days. I have an alarm clock on it. I can time things with a stopwatch on my phone if I so desire. I can check the time any time I want, provided I have my cell phone with me. We do have wall clocks, and there's a small alarm clock in my bathroom. I don't use the alarm for that one, but it is convenient as my phone isn't always as accessible in there. I can also tell the time on my computer.

For that matter, if you have Twitter, I recommend following @big_ben_clock, which tolls the hour every hour, which is super convenient, as long as you don't mind that it tolls London time.

Sources
  • https://jackmasonbrand.com/blogs/news/how-did-people-tell-time-before-clocks (Disclaimer: While this article is interesting, I do not recommend visiting this website unless you want to be on their mailing list. I had to unsubscribe after receiving an unsolicited e-mail from them following my visit.)
  • https://www.timetoast.com/timelines/renaissance-a2cc3971-344e-49db-801f-3a73619829e2
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckoo_clock
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandfather_clock
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Grandfather%27s_Clock

Monday, April 3, 2023

Days of Yore: It's About Time, Part 1

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff."

- The Doctor
Doctor Who, "Blink"

As a kid, I loved getting the newspaper. We got the Stars and Stripes in the Philippines, and I went straight to the comics. One of the comic strips that I followed regularly was Dick Tracy. Tracy was a detective with a distinctive yellow hat and yellow trenchcoat. He solved mysteries and put the bad guys away, in part with the help of his state-of-the-art wristwatch that had a two-way radio built into it. I was amazed by everything his watch could do, and I wished there was such a thing in real life. I couldn't know that decades later, the smartwatch would be invented. Wireless Advocates, where I worked until recently, sold them at their kiosks. They didn't look like Dick Tracy's watch, but they could do some of the same things that may or may not be related to telling the time.

Image by XaMaps on Adobe Stock

Watch

When I was younger, I wore a watch on my left arm, which was how I remembered left and right. They were not connected to satellites at that time, so we had to get the time from the radio or other sources (such as a clock on the wall) when we were setting them. Sometimes, as a mark of our friendship, my best friend and I would synchronize our watches, or set them so they were exactly at the same time, down to the second. Because we had to set them manually, different people's watches were sometimes in disagreement, but generally pretty close to each other. Some watches were slower or faster, so we sometimes had to correct the time. My first watch had a traditional clock face, except that it had Mickey Mouse in the middle using his arms to tell me the time. As I got older, I graduated from a traditional clock face to a digital watch. Both kinds had the date (or some portion of it), and I liked to look at my digital watch at midnight every New Year to watch the year change.

These days, smartwatches can do a lot more than just tell time, and they are generally connected to satellites so we don't have to set them manually. As I have gotten older, my skin has gotten more sensitive, so I can't wear a watch any more. So for all the dreaming of Dick Tracy's watch being real, I don't have one now because I can't wear it if I don't want a rash. But I have other ways of telling time. (Fun activity: Try saying "I wish to wash my Irish wristwatch" or "Which wristwatch is a Swiss wristwatch?" ten times quickly!)

Pocket Watch

By the time I came around, most people didn't use pocket watches (such as the one in the picture above) any more, but they were pretty cool. Some people did have them in their pocket, which you could usually tell because of the chain dangling from their belt or button loop and extending into their pocket. They could take the watch out, open it, and check the time. I have an image in my head of someone wearing a monocle  with a matching chain while doing so, though monocles were long since out of use by my time. Some people also wore them to look tough.

Alarm Clock

We had a couple options for alarm clocks when I was younger. We had a small clock that I could put next to my bed, and set it to ring when I wanted to wake up. Alternatively, my watch had an alarm on it that I often used.


Holy Doctor Who, Batman!

Were there other ways of telling time?
Did my grandfather own a clock, and did it fit on the shelf?
Am I going to blog more about this, or have I gone cuckoo?
Do I even use my cell phone to tell time, or should my phone be confined to a cell by Dick Tracy?
Am I going to TICK another post off the list, or will you need to TOCK to someone else?
Will the pendulum swing to a new post?
Can the clock in my car take me Back to the Future?


TUNE IN TOMORROW!

    SAME BAT-TIME,

        SAME BAT-CHANNEL!

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Lessons from Social Media

I wrote most of these back in June of this year and posted them as Facebook statuses. I now present them in blog form. I even memed a few and added some bonus lessons not seen previously.

***

Bacon and coffee are essential to your continued survival, and must be photographed, memed, and otherwise shared with utmost respect and awe. Then eaten and drunk.



LOL also stands for "lots of love." (No it doesn't.)

The world must be alerted when you have "the feels."

All pictures of cats, dogs and velociraptors must be shared.

Any fact check can begin and end with Snopes or Wikipedia. Or The Daily Currant.

All members of the political party you oppose are the Devil incarnate.

The latest death in Game of Thrones, Doctor Who, or any other show you enjoy, is an international tragedy. That also goes for books, such as Harry Potter.

If you do not share this status, either you are completely heartless, or you are ashamed of Jesus and He will deny you before the Father. Or both.

It is absolutely necessary to video yourself singing "Let It Go" and share it with the world. Extra credit if it goes viral enough for Disney to take notice and block the video for copyright infringement.

The Onion, The Daily Currant, The Duffel Blog and other satire websites are reputable sources of news. Definitely take them seriously.

"I disagree with you" = "I hate you and your kind."

Love = complete agreement and approval

If you disagree with someone, it is absolutely necessary to hurl profanity-laced insults at them. Because random strangers appreciate being called every name unfit to be printed in the book?

Everyone you feel is wrong with the world must be informed of their "wrong with the world" status.

Did someone say something that unintentionally hurt your feelings? They absolutely aimed it at you and meant it as a personal and public insult. This person must be taught a sharp lesson by being unfriended, and for extra credit, blocked. This will automatically convert them to your way of thinking. But you won't know it because you blocked them. Alternatively, you can unfriend them and send them a PM explaining what a lowlife they are.

Doctor Who has a quote for everything. If Doctor Who does not have a quote for it, make up a quote and put it on a picture of The Doctor.

Feel strongly about something? Post a status instructing everyone who disagrees with you to unfriend you now.

Every trip to the gym must be carefully documented and shared for the world to see. (Note: while these can get annoying, I have found that when I do share it, it helps keep me accountable. So don't get after people too much for this. They need encouragement, not "cease and desist" notices.)

If all else fails, put your profound (or not-so-profound) idea in a meme. Extra credit: attribute your idea to Einstein. Or Lincoln. Or a Minion.



Always be yourself, unless you can be anyone or anything else, real or fictional. Then be anyone or anything else, real or fictional.

You can combat negativity by posting pictures of superheroes, cartoon characters, or other positive subjects.

Everyone knows the key to fixing the world's problems, and everyone else is clueless and must be told how.

You can't draw worth beans? No problem. Just draw an ugly face and use it to troll others. It will go viral and your poor excuse for a drawing will gain memingful immortality. (Like the word I just made up?)

When God (who is apparently an old man with a long white beard), who makes no mistakes, created every single person in the world, He stood at a table with a beaker, and added a dose of this, a dose of that, and... oops! The perfect God who doesn't make mistakes accidentally spilled His entire supply of a third ingredient into the potion!

It is absolutely necessary to know which character of every show in existence you are.

You will be SHOCKED OUT OF YOUR SENSES what happens when you click on this clickbaity link!

He used clickbait, and THIS happened! LOL!

Minions are surprisingly philosophical.

Always photograph what you are eating.

Memes count as news, and they are definitely accurate.


Anything at all (with the possible exception of Fifty Shades of Grey) is still a better love story than Twilight.

The Doctor must under no circumstances be called Doctor Who. That is not his name. Never mind that's how he was credited until recently, and he was often called Doctor Who in the classic series.



Never mind what Back to the Future says about Marty McFly coming to the future on October 21, 2015. That day is TODAY. In fact, it's been many days since at least 2012.

#Always #use #hashtags. Better yet, ‪#‎overuse‬ ‪#‎hashtags.


If anyone wishes you "Happy Holidays," they are part of a dastardly scheme to take Christ out of Christmas and must be chastised accordingly. Anything less than "Merry Christmas" must be greeted with Scrooge-like anger.

If anyone dares mention Christmas before Thanksgiving, they must be publicly chastised for their crimes against humanity.




Thursday, May 1, 2014

My Fandoms Are Flashing Before My Eyes!

My gym closed yesterday. I have been going there regularly since the end of last January, and this brings to a close a big part of my life for the last year and 4 months. Yesterday, I borrowed quotes from several of my favorite shows and books to express my feelings about Vision Quest closing:

I don't want to go! I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me. May the force be with you. Live long and prosper. I'm glad you're with me, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things. 
My fandoms are flashing before my eyes. Thank you, Vision Quest! May your swords stay sharp.
(References to Doctor Who [10th and 11th Doctors, respectively], Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings [more specifically, Return of the King - said by Frodo] and the Inheritance Cycle [Eragon])

***

Today I will be working out at the new LA Fitness, beginning a new phase in my weight loss journey, and I look forward to working out with many of the same people. In the same vein as yesterday's thoughts, my regeneration into a thinner and healthier person begins!

I give you air from my lungs. It'll be fantastic! Allons-y! Geronimo! Kidneys! Do you know how to drive this thing? Use the Force, Luke. Live long and prosper. Before we begin our [workout], I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! I think I'm quite ready for another adventure.
Let the regeneration begin!
(References to Doctor Who [9th, 10th, 11th and 12th Doctors, respectively], Star Wars [said by Obi-Wan], Star Trek, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone [slightly modified quote from Albus Dumbledore] and Return of the King [said by Bilbo])

Monday, March 31, 2014

Phở with Puns, Part 3

Just when you thought you were safe and I had phởgotten about my Phở posts, inspiration has struck yet again.

For those who need reminders of what has come before, check out Part 1 and Part 2.


Phở
Phởto by Steven Sauke, 2013


What Does the Phở Say?
Wouldn't we all like to know? Apparently, it says "slurp slurp slurp slurpty-slurp!" and "Wa phở phở phở phở phở pow!" Anyway, it says that at this restaurant. "Sriracha-racha-racha chow!" Will you communicate by phở-ở-ở-ở-ở-ở? The secret of the phở, ancient mystery. Watch out for people wearing phở ears dancing wildly around the restaurant. You can find out more about it here.

Phở News
The flavors are Phở and Balanced™ (though people of other phởlitical persuasions might dispute that).

20th Century Phở
A movie theater that serves phở

Phởzen
A Phở restaurant in Norway. I realize this pun is a bit of a fixer-upper, but sometimes you just have to let it go. The Phở contains whatever snow does in summer, but nobody with their own personal flurry was harmed in the making of this soup. Reindeer tastes better than...um, never mind.

Phởzzy-Wuzzy
...was a bear. Phởzzy-Wuzzy had no hair. Phởzzy-Wuzzy wasn't phởzzy, was he?

Kermit the Phở
Moi loves to eat there! It's not easy cooking green.

Rephởnance Your Mortgage
Where you can talk to your mortgage broker over a bowl of Phở. The conversations are much more interesting.

Phởlite Conversation
You have to mind your P's and Q's at this restaurant, and always say "Please" and "Thank you."

Nick Phởry
SHIELD's very own phở restaurant. The head waiter wears an eye patch and has a scar on his face.

Susan Phởman
The First Doctor's favorite phở restaurant, which he dedicated to his beloved granddaughter

Swiss Phởmily Robinson
Phở served in a treehouse on an island. It's a family business, though the clientele is very limited.

Winnie the Phở
One of the finest restaurants in the Hundred Acre Wood

Christophở Robin
The other phở restaurant in the Hundred Acre Wood. The two restaurants work together and have great adventures.

Mary Phởpins
Their soup is practically perfect in every way.

Phởdo Baggins
True heroism goes into the making of their phở. It was born from a quest to destroy a ring, and became so much more. The oppressor was defeated, and in the heat of the volcanic fires, a new soup was cooked. Once the hobbits and elves worked together to get the sulfur out and perfect the recipe, a new restaurant was born. As Paul Harvey would say, "...and that's the rest of the story." We're Tolkien' amazing heroics here.

Morphởus
After you phởllow the white rabbit, they offer you an option of the red phở or the blue phở. Either choice will change your destiny. After that, they have a whole matrix of events that happen as a result of your choice.

Phở Factor
A reality show in which people must face their least favorite phở. The theory is that they will realize it doesn't actually taste that bad.

Phởddleglum
A phở restaurant in the Narnian marshes. Their specialty is eel phở, though everyone will hate it, I shouldn't wonder.

Phởmble
They have a basketball court, but you don't have to play it well.

Phlởbber
A restaurant inspired by a stretchy, bouncy substance invented by an absentminded professor

Prophởssor X
A phở restaurant for mutants, founded by a great mutant with telepathic abilities

Phởcy Jackson
A phở restaurant at Camp Half-Blood

If you think of any others, feel free to mention them in the comments, though please keep it clean.

Monday, March 4, 2013

More Phở with Puns

Inspiration struck again. This is a phởllow-up to Phở with Puns.


"My goodness, what a phở you're making!"
Dorothy figures out the Lion's calling in life

Subaru Phởrester
A car dealership that serves pho while you're waiting

Phởbidden Phởrest
Vietnamese restaurant near Hogwarts

Phởrrest Gump
Run, Phởrrest, run!

Phởrankenstein
There are rumors of monsters coming out of this one.

Galliphở
A restaurant founded by a Time Lord

Water Phởcet
Lots of opportunities to wash your hands

Phở Gondor!
Boromir's favorite Vietnamese restaurant

My Phởciousss!
Gollum insists that this restaurant belongs to him. He would have you believe that they stole it, his phởciousss, and he wantsss it!

Phở He's a Jolly Good Phởllow
They like to sing songs to celebrate their wonderful customers

Bánh mìsérables
They can be a bit starry-eyed, but at the end of the day, their master of the house is amazing. They never have an issue with empty chairs at empty tables (and at the table in the corner, you can see a world reborn). Customers are constantly requesting to stay one day more. Judging from some customers' loyalty, you'd think it's located in a castle on a cloud. Their color scheme is red and black, and they serve Vietnamese sandwiches.

Phởdawan
They teach their customers to be Jedi Knights

Skyphở
In which we learn about where James Bond grew up

Bánh mì. James Bánh mì.
Store #007

Phởnancial Aid
They're expensive, but they offer loans and grants to help you pay for your meal.

Phởd Thai
A restaurant that serves Vietnamese and Thai food

Phởladelphia
The City of Brotherly Soup

Il Phởlo
A restaurant that honors a certain trio of Italian tenors (well, technically two tenors and a baritone)

Quantum Phởsics
Their specialty is Schrödinger's Bánh mì, a sandwich made while standing on a sturdy box containing a cat that is alive and dead


Feel free to comment with more suggestions, though as always, keep it clean. Also, check back as I may be adding more.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Phở with Puns

You know how Phở restaurants tend to use puns in their names? I had some brilliant ideas for some more. In case anyone doesn't know, Phở is a kind of Vietnamese noodle and meat soup. It's pronounced "fuh".

Phở and Games
A combination arcade and restaurant

Phở Tography
A photography studio that also serves pho

Phở Langes
A pho restaurant with a finger theme (They could also serve ladyfingers at Halloween)

Phởraoh
A restaurant that serves Vietnamese and Egyptian food

Phởrantic
An espresso stand that also serves pho

Phởnatic
A pho restaurant dedicated to fandoms everywhere

Phởnetic
Thay spel awl thuh wurds on thare menyoo funetticly. Yoo may take longgur reeding it, but at leest yool say thuh wurds rite. (They spell all the words on their menu phonetically. You may take longer reading it, but at least you'll say the words right.)

Raxacorico-phở-lapatorius
Had to get a Dr. Who reference in there...

Luke, I Am Your Phởther
The Sith branch

The Phởlowship of the Ring
A necessary destination on your quest to destroy the Ring of Power

Phởrengi
Get Quark on it! He would probably make a mean pho! 

Phở Phở Away
Princess Fiona's favorite Vietnamese restaurant. She loves taking Shrek there.

Muphởsa
The restaurant Simba founded right near Pride Rock, in memory of his phởther

Ophởlia
Hamlet's favorite Vietnamese restaurant. Laertes hates it when Hamlet goes there. It drives the restaurant mad.

Harry Phởter
Magic happens here.

Expecto Phởtronum
Protective magic happens here. Your soup takes the form of an animal, but a different animal for each customer.

Ziegfeld's Phởlies
Serving up song and dance and soup

HMS Pinaphở
They never ever make their soup too hot. What, never?! No, never! What, never?! Well, hardly ever.

Phởrates of the Caribbean
Yo ho, yo ho, a phởrate's life for me! The Black Phởrl can't be far off. (OK, that was phở-fetched)

Phởlowship
A great ministry idea for any church who wants to serve pho

Phởndamentals
A pho restaurant that goes back to the basics 

Phởlosophy
Socrates would have loved it!

Phởlanthropy
They donate their proceeds to charity.

Hooked on Phởnics
Worked for me!

Phởlanx
The cafeteria in a Roman army, that serves pho

Phởnix
Located in Arizona. They go out of business from time to time, but they always rise from the ashes.

Phởssil
A revolution in archaeology related to ancient Vietnamese soup

Phởsical Phởtness
They feature a well-rounded combination of healthy soup and a workout facility.

Do Bánh mì Phở So La Ti Do
They have a stage for singing, in addition to offering music lessons and singing about pho. They also serve Vietnamese sandwiches.

Phở, a Noodle Pulling Bread
From the Vietnamese parody of The Sound of Music 

The Phởntom of the Opera
...is there inside my mind!

Phởgetaboutit
A pho restaurant in New York (that was my friend Eddie's idea)

Phở Rensics
A murder mystery restaurant that serves pho (also Eddie's idea)

Just Phở You
Shanel's idea

Anyone else have ideas? Feel free to comment, but please keep it clean. :-)