God Sent a Cockroach

I wrote the following poem on March 23, 2004, remembering one of the strangest answers to prayer that I have ever witnessed as a child growing up in the Philippines. As you may gather, I was the boy in question. The only detail I can think of that I left out is that the cockroach did not live to tell the tale. Also, my mom was sharing about it in a prayer meeting with colleagues later in the day, and someone commented, "God sent you a cockroach and you killed it??"

I forget the date of the incident, but I believe it was in the late 1980s or early '90s.

Photo by Kohyao on Adobe Stock

In a far-off land
There lived a boy
Who went to school in the morning
With his father the teacher
In a city not known for its wonderful traffic
So at 4 in the morn
His mother roused him from bed
And every evening he prayed
He'd be alert the next day

And one morning God chose
To answer the boy's prayer
In the last way the boy would expect

In the tropical heat
There was no blanket on the bed
The boy lay on top of the sheet
Too hot even for a t-shirt in bed

His mom came to wake him up
The sleepy boy opened his eyes
And then it happened:
God sent a cockroach!
It scurried over the boy's bare belly
And suddenly
The sleepiness left
The boy was alert
Very alert
And he remembered his prayer
And thanked God for sending a cockroach
God used an insect to bring glory to His Name

As the years have gone by
The boy has grown into a man
He has never forgotten the cockroach God sent
To remind him
That God can use anything at all
To answer prayer
And to bring honor to His Name

How to Write Your Very Own Rodgers & Hammerstein Musical (Take 2)

This may sound familiar to people who have been following my blog for a while. A few years ago after watching an Anna Russell sketch in which she details how to write your own Gilbert & Sullivan operetta, I was inspired to write some notes on a similar approach to Rodgers & Hammerstein musicals, as they also have many common threads. After writing my notes on paper, they disappeared. Finally, in 2018, having not found my notes, I wrote what I remembered of them for the All Things Broadway blog. When that blog went down, I reblogged it here. 

I have recently been going through my papers and finally found the notes! So, as I originally intended, I am adapting them here, based on the actual notes and not just my memory of them. I am also incorporating more points that weren't in my notes, but most of the below points were there.

Ezio Pinza, Barbara Luna, Michael or Noel De Leon, Mary Martin,
in the final scene of the original production of South Pacific (1949)

Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein III wrote multiple musicals, many of which went on to be classics. They had a very distinct style, however, and you can generally tell by listening to them that they are Rodgers & Hammerstein. Inspired by Anna Russell's lesson on writing your own Gilbert & Sullivan operetta, I sat down a few years ago to come up with some important elements to remember when writing your own R&H musical. I put examples in as subpoints below. The examples, of course, are not comprehensive lists.

The plot should tackle some controversial subject. For example, The Sound of Music involved Nazis. Carousel and Oklahoma! involved abuse. Carousel involved attempted robbery and suicide. Oklahoma! involved drugs ("Egyptian smelling salts"), which brought on a hallucinogenic dream that turned into a nightmare. Flower Drum Song had a mail-order bride, illegal immigration, and a striptease. South Pacific involved interracial and intercultural romance (which was more controversial at the time than it is now), racism in general, and a major character who killed in self-defense. The King & I involved slavery and a harem.

The overture must be relatively or extremely long. If there is an entr'acte, it should also be long.

There must be some element of love, no matter how far-fetched.

• The lovers must sing a duet in which one of them sings the first verse and then the other sings the first verse nearly verbatim back to them. 
• "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" from The Sound of Music
• "Ten Minutes Ago" and "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?" from Cinderella
• "If I Loved You" from Carousel
• "I Have Dreamed" and "We Kiss in a Shadow" from The King & I
• "People Will Say We're in Love" and "All er Nothin' " from Oklahoma!
• The male lover may be a widowed man with children, though the number of children he has varies. 
• Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music
• Emile de Becque in South Pacific
• The main female lover may have a quirky friend who is also in love 
• Carrie Pipperidge (friend of Julie Jordan) in Carousel
• Ado Annie Carnes (friend of Laurey Williams) in Oklahoma!
• At least one of the lovers should go through a short period of time when they are, or look like they are, or think they are, in love with someone else. 
• Laurey Williams and Curly McLain/Jud Fry, as well as Ado Annie Carnes and Will Parker/Ali Hakim, in Oklahoma!
• Sammy Fong/Wang Ta and Linda Low/Mei Li (it's complicated) in Flower Drum Song
• Captain Von Trapp and Maria Rainer/Baroness Elsa Schraeder in The Sound of Music
• A pair of lovers should sing a song dreaming about their life together. 
• "An Ordinary Couple" from The Sound of Music
• "Sunday" from Flower Drum Song
• "When the Children Are Asleep" from Carousel
• The lovers don't always have to marry each other, but that is preferable. 
• Some couples marry, though the wedding may or may not be shown onstage:
• Curley and Laurey (Oklahoma!)
• Julie and Billy, Enoch and Carrie (Carousel)
• Maria and the Captain (The Sound of Music)
• Cinderella and the Prince
• Nellie and Emile (South Pacific) are engaged. 
• Things look promising for Ado Annie and Will (Oklahoma!)
• Some couples do not marry, for various reasons:
• Liesl and Rolf (The Sound of Music) 
• Cable and Liat (South Pacific)
• Tuptim and Lun Tha (The King & I).
• One of the lovers may sing a solo love song. 
• "Younger than Springtime" and "I'm in Love with a Wonderful Guy" from South Pacific
• "Mister Snow" from Carousel
• "The Surrey with the Fringe on Top" from Oklahoma!

A hate song is an added bonus. The singer may or may not actually hate, but they would like to think so. 

• "Stonecutters Cut it on Stone" from Carousel
• "I'm Gonna Wash that Man Right Outta My Hair" from South Pacific
• "Many a New Day" from Oklahoma!

In lieu of a hate song, or along with it, the lovers might sing a love song trying to convince each other (or trying to make it look like) they aren't actually in love. 

• "People Will Say We're in Love" from Oklahoma!
• "If I Loved You" from Carousel

There should be a song giving advice about what happy or positive thing to do when experiencing negative feelings. 

• "My Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music
• "I Whistle a Happy Tune" from The King & I
• "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel

A major character may sing a soliloquy, in which he ponders a major decision set before him. His decision at the end of the song determines the course of the rest of his life. He does not survive the show. 

• "Soliloquy" from Carousel
• "Lonely Room" from Oklahoma!

Someone should sing a song trying to convince another character to (or not to) do something. 

• "Happy Talk" from South Pacific
• "Don't Marry Me" from Flower Drum Song
• "Climb Every Mountain" from The Sound of Music

Sometimes, this song has a haunting, wistful melody. 

• "Bali Ha'i" from South Pacific
• "Something Wonderful" from The King & I

There should be at least one song that the whole company (or nearly the whole company) sings, which is accompanied by a dance. 

• "The Farmer and the Cowman" and "Oklahoma!" from Oklahoma!
• "It's a Grand Night for Singing" from State Fair
• "This Was a Real Nice Clambake" and "You'll Never Walk Alone (reprise)" from Carousel

A variation on this would be the company dancing while the two lovers sing their duet to each other, oblivious to the company's presence. 

• "Ten Minutes Ago" and "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?" from Cinderella

If the state or territory where the musical is set (if it's set in the US) is important enough to the plot, there must be a song about that state or territory, preferably one which spells out the name of aforementioned state or territory. 

• "Oklahoma!" from Oklahoma!
• "All I Owe Ioway" or "It's the Little Things in Texas" from two versions of State Fair
• "Grant Avenue" (San Francisco, California, USA!) from Flower Drum Song

Characters in the musical may put on a stage production, in some cases a "play within a play." 

• "Honey Bun" in South Pacific
• "Small House of Uncle Thomas" in The King & I
• "Do Re Mi (reprise)" and "Edelweiss" in The Sound of Music
• "Fan Tan Fanny" in Flower Drum Song
• Pretty much the entire plot of Me and Juliet

One group of characters may sing a song about how they don't understand or can't stand another group. It can be men and/or women singing about each other, generations singing about each other, or really any two groups that don't fully understand each other.

• "Stonecutters Cut it on Stone" and "Give it to 'em Good, Carrie" from Carousel
• "Many a New Day" and "It's a Scandal! It's a Outrage!" from Oklahoma!
• "The Other Generation" from Flower Drum Song

An instrumental break accompanied by a dreamy ballet is a plus. This is very important to the plot.

• Oklahoma!
• Carousel
• Flower Drum Song

A major character may teach another character a dance.

• "Laendler" from The Sound of Music
• "Shall We Dance?" from The King and I

Upon thinking they have lost the love of their life, a lover sings a lament about what they believe they have lost. It generally turns out all right.

• "Geraniums in the Window" from Carousel
• "This Nearly Was Mine" from South Pacific
• "Love, Look Away" from Flower Drum Song

The musical should include the word "dope" (as in, foolish person) in there somewhere. 

• "Marry a dope, innocent and gaga" from Flower Drum Song
• "The gentleman is a dope" from Allegro
• "I sit around and mope, pretending I am wonderful, and knowing I'm a dope" from State Fair
• "I'm stuck like a dope with a thing called hope" from South Pacific
• "Because these daft and dewy-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes, impossible things are happening every day" from Cinderella

Something should also be "cockeyed" (askew or quirky). 

• "I'm only a cockeyed optimist" from South Pacific
• "While somersaulting at a cockeyed angle, we make a cockeyed circle round the sun" from The Sound of Music)

It may also include the word "gay" (as in happy or fun). 

• "I feel so gay in a melancholy way that it might as well be spring" from State Fair
• "Younger than springtime am I. Gayer than laughter am I." from South Pacific
• "The games they played were bright and gay and loud" from Flower Drum Song
• "Keep it gay" from Me and Juliet

No matter the subject, the finale must be called "Finale Ultimo."

It's an added bonus if your audience has collapsed in tears by the end of "Finale Ultimo."

• Carousel
• South Pacific
• The King & I

I hope this helps get the juices flowing. Have fun with your new R&H show!

Pardon Me, Sir

The commercials are classic. A car pulls alongside another, in which a man is sitting in the backseat with an fancy sandwich on a plate, with elegant silverware and the works, laid out on a seatback table. The gentleman is spreading Dijon mustard (which he just pulled out a special compartment in the car just for Dijon storage) on his sandwich. In a (usually) British accent, the man in the first car says, "Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" The man who is eating graciously says, "But of course!" He may or may not hand it to the man who requested it.

I recently found the following poem in my papers. I handwrote it at some point, but did not date it, so I don't know when it was written. I was trying to sound British, but in retrospect, I may have been trying a little too hard. All the same, I hope people find it entertaining. Perhaps it will inspire you to share your Dijon mustard. Also remember, "It's one of life's finer pleasures."

It is best read in a British accent.

Photo by Prostock-studio on Adobe Stock

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could I make just one little request?
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could you tell me, full of zest?
Would—
Oh dear, the traffic light is green!

How I crave it!
Oh to taste it!
My stomach's set
I need it yet!
I hope that gentleman has a bit!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Could you grant one small request?
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
Of this I do not jest
Would you—
Oh, the traffic light is green!

Oh I crave it!
Oh to taste it!
My tummy's set
I need it yet!
I sincerely hope he won't waste it!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
I would like to make a request
Pardon me, sir
Pardon me
If you could tell me, with some zest
Would you have any Grey Poupon?

But of course you do!
But of course!
I thank you, kind sir!
I thank you so very much!
You make me jolly!

Pardon me, sir
Pardon me...