David and Jonathan 2013

For Sunday school, we did a skit this morning. "Jon", a good friend currently in high school, whose mom Lori helps me out, came to play the part of himself in a few years. My friend Aaron, who lives in Texas (which, as you'll see, is an important detail to know), also made an important contribution. "Davey" was one of the kids, who didn't know ahead of time he would be featured in the skit. Aside from the adults, names have been changed. However, we used real names in the skit. 

STEVEN

Good morning, class! As you know, we've had an exciting past couple weeks with our annual music festival and competition. Each of you did a great job on your musical recital, and we're proud to announce that you all made the top ten finalists! Now I need to introduce our special guests. You all know our very own Principal Lori. You may not know that she easily won this same competition several years ago when she was in this class. For many years before that, the world-renowned Amalek Symphonic Orchestra, with its colossal 1000 members, won every year, but that year, her solo act on the tuba blew the judges away. Of course, after winning the contest, she wanted to keep all that orchestra's instruments and marry their director Randy, but our former Principal Samuel had to remind her that wasn't nice.

LORI (embarrassed)

You weren't supposed to mention that part!

STEVEN

Oh, sorry. Anyway, we also have the distinct privilege of having Principal Lori's son Jon O'Saul with us today. As you may know, he has already made a name for himself, playing the drums, trumpet, piano, organ, oboe, bassoon, flute and accordion all over the world. That's not even mentioning his amazing talent at singing. Audiences in Tokyo, Paris, London, New York and elsewhere have been amazed at his outstanding talent. I'm also proud of him because he's one of my former students. He is currently studying for his doctorate in Musical Arts at Juilliard School in New York, and we are privileged to have him as our TA this year as part of his internship.

JON

Thank you. When you put it that way, it sounds all impressive. Honestly, it's just what I love to do. You may have noticed me in the audience as each of you did your recitals, and I've gotta say I'm impressed with your talent. As you know, the 10,000-member orchestra Go Lithe has won the competition every year ever since my mom defeated the Amalek Orchestra. But I'm excited to announce that this year we have a new winner. The judges tell me this is the youngest champion they have ever seen, and they have asked me to give the prize and their congratulations to Davey McJesse!  (applause) Since he performed way beyond anyone's expectations, and by himself he defeated the Go Lithe Orchestra with just a harp, Juilliard has authorized me to give him a scholarship to attend our exclusive school where he will receive top-notch training in music. Not only that, but until he's old enough to attend Juilliard, I will be giving him personal lessons. (more applause)

STEVEN

I think I should point out that Lori has beat out 1000 musicians, but Davey has beat out 10,000 musicians. That is an amazing accomplishment, and we're proud that both of them come from our school.

LORI

Wait, what? That’s no fair! Holding the record was my greatest and proudest accomplishment! There must be some mistake. [She storms off to the side]

SCENE 2

3 days later. Steven and Jon are having a conference.

JON

Davey tells me that my mom is really jealous of his accomplishment. His tutoring sessions are going great, but he seems to be scared that she’ll do something to get revenge because he outdid her. It just doesn’t sound like something she’d do! We decided that he’ll miss lunch tomorrow and hide. Then we’ve arranged a signal. I really don’t think she’d do that, but I trust Davey. I know where he’s hiding, but I won’t tell anyone. He always eats at her table in the cafeteria, so she’s sure to miss him. We’ll see how she reacts. Davey and I will meet afterwards in his hiding spot. I’m so sure that Davey is mistaken about how far she’ll go that I’ve decided that if it turns out he’s right, I’ll find a video of someone in Texas wishing him good luck. That way if my mom is near, she won’t realize it’s a sign. I hope he’s wrong. Not only because I love my mom, but who do I know in Texas?!

Later that day. Cafeteria.

JON

Hi, mom!

LORI

Isn’t this lunch great? The cooks are amazing here. I never get tired of the food. Too bad Davey… Wait a minute, where is Davey?

JON

He said he couldn’t make it. Something about having to practice for his recital next week.

LORI

What?! He can’t do a recital! I won’t let him! I still can’t believe you dare give him private lessons! What kind of son are you? Do you hate me that much, that you help my rival but don’t help me? Get out of here and let me figure out what I’m gonna do about this problem!

Later that day. Classroom.

JON [to Davey]

Well, I found a video.

STEVEN starts video on laptop

AARON (via video)

You’re doing an amazing job! Good luck in your recital next week!

JON and Davey hug

JON

You were right. If you ever need help, you have my phone number. We’ll have to do our private lessons in secret, and I’m afraid we’ll have to secretly reschedule your recital. My mom is too jealous of you for the recital to work as we were planning. I’m afraid she’d do something to interrupt your performance or make you look bad. In fact, it might be a good idea to lie low for a while until my mom has a chance to calm down. You’re a great friend, and I know you’ll go far. In fact, I think you’ll beat even bigger orchestras. Remember how Elvis was called the King? I think you’ll be bigger than Elvis.